As you know, I am tapering still and doing my best to help my son who has been challenged with a serious illness. I had previously posted that I was taking time off from blogging to focus more on him and my own recover. However, I experienced something so profound yesterday, I want to share it in hopes that it may be something that will help you as well.
We all know the psychological complications of withdrawing from a benzo: depression, intrusive thoughts, fear, etc. One of the doctors I saw who is helping me in my taper suggested I go back into therapy. ( Spent years off and on working on my inner self, and even went back to school to earn my doctorate in psychology.) So I did. But after two sessions it was clear we were simply covering old ground, old issues and stuck in the shit, not the solution. (Pardon my language.) It was clear to me that I need/want spiritual guidance. My withdrawal has shaken my faith and at times I feel very far away from God as I understand God.
I had a spiritual direction session yesterday with a compassionate woman who listened to me so well I could hear myself. That’s important. She asked spot on questions that loosened up answers inside of me, answers that I know I need to battle this withdrawal. I walked out of our session renewed. My withdrawal symptoms were less and I was at peace.
This is not to say that withdrawal is going to be magically easy, or symptom free. But I will have better tools to cope with the psychological demands withdrawal will place on me. I didn’t need psychology, I need spiritual strength.
You may want to consider working with a spiritual director. You do not have to be of the Christian faith to work with one., although they are often found through calling churches.
I look forward to my appointment next week.
I have withdrawal symptoms today, however, I feel far more peaceful than I have in a long time. Hopeful too! When we lose our faith, we lose our way. I was definitely stumbling in the dark for a few weeks. Good to be back on the path, moving forward, confident in my strides, and in my destination.
To your recovery and health,