As we know, viral or other types of illness can bring on a wave of benzo withdrawal symptoms, even many years out. Why? No one seems to know. Makes sense, since no one really knows what benzodiazepines do to the brain/body in the first place. Or what is really going on in withdrawal and recovery.
I was putting together a metal shelving unit yesterday on my lunch break. I ate a green salad with a broiled chicken breast for lunch, bought at my favorite little family owned Mediterranean restaurant. They have been feeding me for the past four years as I healed from the damage the benzo did to my brain. An hour later, it was as if someone flipped a switch. I had severe dizziness, like I was drunk, and I was unable to walk. My head pressure was intense, and my right ear was painful and plugged. My vision was pretty strange too. I groped my way to the couch and laid down. I prayed. I breathed slowly. I tried to figure out just what was going on. A neighbor knocked at my door out of the blue. Thank you, God!
My friend helped me back to my bed and that was when the fireworks started. Metaphorically speaking of course. Everything I’d eaten that day came rushing back up, for hours. It was pretty nasty. I’m not usually prone to vomiting. I had Food poisoning!
I’m over the worst of the worst. It triggered a return of some body benzo symptoms however. I know that this will pass. I’m grateful that my brain is healed enough that it didn’t bring back the mental symptoms! I’m on the couch today, resting. I canceled clients as I didn’t feel I was 100% available. Benzo withdrawal has taught me how to take very good care of myself and not to feel guilty for having to do so. I hope you are learning how to do that as well.
Always keep your wetsuit available for the times waves will roll back into your life. It is going to happen, maybe even years out. Our central nervous systems are still fragile and an attack on the body can be too much of a strain. Take it in stride. It will pass, in time. Be gentle with yourself and think positive thoughts. I talked to my mom this morning and I told her the biggest threat to my health would be me feeling sorry for myself! I know I have to keep my hands and my mind as busy as I can so I don’t focus on myself. My garden is one amazing tool for that.
Which reminds me, soon I am going to be hosting free weekly webinars about benzo withdrawal. I want to give you the top three coping skills that worked for me (I wish I had learned sooner!) and the complete gardening instructions so you can plant a flower garden that boosts your healing just like my garden did for me. I’ll cover other topics as well. I’m still working behind the scenes to put it all together. I’ll keep you posted.
I’m gonna go sip my chicken broth and watch a movie. I’m used to pulling on my wetsuit, putting a smile on my face and saying, “Bring it on!” I’m so grateful I’ve healed enough that benzo withdrawal doesn’t rattle my cage like it used to. I know that it won’t last and that life is so sweet. Food poisoning may have brought on a bit of a wave, but I’m still standing. Even if for today, that is only metaphorically!
Everyone take good care. Be kind and gentle with yourselves. Know that this too shall pass. Life WILL get sweet again. We do recover.
I’ll keep you posted about the free weekly webinars. Stay tuned.