Friday I celebrated a huge victory.
It was a cornerstone moment in my life: a reporter shared my benzo withdrawal story and my work with other benzo victims. The story was published online at Van Winkle’s and in The Huffington Post. I’ve gone from being severely brain damaged from 18 years of prescribed benzo use to carving out the path I want in life. I’m back in the driver’s seat, not benzo withdrawal!
It’s been a long and lonely journey, but worth every unsure and frightened step.
No way in hell I can say I enjoyed withdrawal. Not one little bit of it. It was torture. Looking back on it, I realize I grew so much from the experience. Withdrawal allowed me to go to a whole new level of spirituality and understanding how to manifest my dreams. It’s like the universe pulled back the curtain and said, “Here, these are the secrets.” I’m honored and grateful.
One of the secrets is to accept.
I know it’s soooooo hard to accept that your life is unrecognizable. It’s hard to accept the feelings, the pain, anguish, terror, burning, fatigue, anxiety, depression and the cognitive dysfunction. Oh, I know! I struggled with acceptance too. My fight reminded me of being a little girl. I won a Chinese finger trap at my school carnival. A jolt of fear ran up my spine when I tugged and tugged to free my fingers. The little trap closed tighter and tighter. That’s how it is in withdrawal. When you resist, all of your symptoms loom larger and larger. Do your best to relax. Trust that you are healing. Everything will be okay. Everything IS okay, right now.
The tide is turning.
More articles about benzo withdrawal are being published. It’s the start of a groundswell. We need more than the tide to turn, we need a complete sea change. We will get there, one article at a time.
You will be shown great secrets too!
When your brain is more cobbled back together, you will understand more about life. You’ll have more tools to cope with the ups and downs. You’ll take with you the lessons you’ve learned while healing and turn them into the path towards the life you’ve always dreamed of. Keep healing!