Benzo withdrawal knows no boundaries; it affects people from all walks of life and every corner of the globe. In talking to people from around the world, I hear the list of common symptoms and the questions we all ask. The most common questions people ask me are:
Is this a benzo withdrawal symptom? Withdrawal symptoms can be so bizarre, that it is hard to explain how they feel, or what our experience of them is like. I remember trying to explain to my family how I felt and the best I could do, to sum up my day-to-day living was to say that I felt like I was having a stroke while on acid while standing in front of a firing squad. My body and mind did some wild and crazy things in withdrawal, all of them very unpleasant and frightening. It’s good to check in with others in withdrawal, or to do a google search, to find out if what you are experiencing is common in withdrawal. And it is always a good idea to see a doctor to rule out any other cause, or to set your mind at east. Most withdrawal symptoms aren’t dangerous, but they sure are scary at times, not to mention painful and annoying. If you aren’t sure that what you are experiencing is a benzo withdrawal symptom, by all means, ask!
When will it end? I wish I knew the answer. Everyone’s recovery is unique. So many variables go into the mix, it’s hard to predict when we will be healed. I’ve talked to people who suffered horribly their first year off and went on to heal in their second year. I’ve talked to people who weren’t that damaged after stepping off, but they took years to feel better. Our DNA makeup plays a role in our healing as does our psychological makeup. What we eat or drink and how much stress we have in our lives, etc., play a role as well. All we know for sure is that we do eventually heal. We do get out lives back. (During benzo withdrawal, we need frequent reassurance that we will get better. We may ask a loved one over and over in the course of a day to tell us that we will get well. This is quite normal. Once we start to feel better, our neediness fades away.)
What medication can I take to help? There aren’t many things that make benzo withdrawal better. Most of the medicines that doctors prescribe to help take the edge off of our symptoms can make us feel worse, or, they have their own withdrawal syndrome we will have to face down the road. However, some people have reported that they don’t think they would have survived withdrawal without the help of the medications that they took. Only you can weigh all the factors and decide if you want to try another drug to help. I tried a few antidepressants and even two antipsychotics. All of them made me worse. Nothing took the edge off of my suffering except the passing of time, eating well, resting, avoiding stress and doing my best to hold onto a positive mental attitude.
What should I avoid in benzo withdrawal? Anything that works on GABA (alcohol, kava kava, valerian, phenibut, kavinace, z drugs, etc.) should be avoided. Antidepressants, antipsychotics, and mood stabilizers have been known to make us worse as well. (Although some people say that they have helped take the edge off.) Sugar, caffeine, food additives, colorings, and preservatives, strenuous exercise, extreme heat, stressful situations, vibrations, and certain vitamins and supplements can make us feel worse. Avoid the things that rev up your symptoms. Make sure you get adequate rest. Eat healthily. (One ingredient, fresh, whole foods are best.) Avoid overstimulation from television, social media, movies, video games, and the like. Also, avoid drama and people that drain your energy. Put your health as the number one priority in your life.
How do I get my family and friends to understand what I am going through? You probably can’t. They will never know exactly what you’re going through. How could they? But they can understand that you are suffering, need support and that you will eventually get well. I stopped trying to make my loved ones understand my reality and instead focused on letting them know how they could help me. They were relieved when I explained to them in straightforward terms what would best help me. They wanted to help, and having guidelines and suggestions made it so much easier for everyone, including myself.
Will I ever feel like my old self again? Of course! You’ll get your old self back, plus, you’ll most likely feel like you are a new and improved version. Many of us think that the time we spent in withdrawal was a time of great purification and polishing. When I felt mostly recovered, I felt as if I had become the person I had always wanted to be. There is light at the end of the benzo withdrawal tunnel, and it is shining bright. You’ll get there. One day at a time.
Why doesn’t the medical community understand the dangers of benzos? I wish with my whole heart that I knew the answer to that question. It is hard to fathom why the medical community doesn’t know more about benzos and the damage that they may cause. So much information about benzos is readily available on the Internet that we find it hard to believe that doctors haven’t been exposed to it. We all know the dangers of opiates. Perhaps, soon, word of the benzo crisis will make mainstream media and be taken seriously.
What questions do you have about withdrawal? Feel free to post them. Remember, benzo withdrawal is a temporary condition. We do recover, in time. It is normal to have fears and doubts about our recovery or to have times of despair. But don’t let the negative thoughts win out. Know that you are healing.
Good grief yes…i always liken it to a bad acid trip!
Reading this email has boosted me. I’ve been feeling so desperate and needed this! Thank you! My question is about the nerve pain that I experience constantly. It has had me bedridden for months now. My feet and the right side of my body throb with pain. Is there anything that you know of that can help alleviate this pain? 💜
Thx Jen another great post!!!! Sometimes you do think your having a stroke..I walked the other day think it was to much and felt like I was gunna pass out got dizzy and really anxiousness..which is wierd because I always walk..also rode a bike with my daughter. Had to stop and same crazy feeling..get pains in my head were I think that’s it I’m going down..this is so crazy sometimes I think it’s me…I I read a scripture the other day that helped…(.perfect love cast out fear….)God loves us and we shouldn’t be afraid…I I know easier said then done!!! but we will heal like you say in time!!! Lots and lots sometimes….enjoy your new home and thanks for all your help…🌻😎
Jennifer, this post is fantastic and so right-on! I was on Pristiq anti-depressant for a long time before I began benzo withdrawal. I was never concerned about that until now. Due to Medicare Part-D I have had to reduce my Pristiq dosage by 50% last week and the results are horrible. The effects have tripled my withdrawal effects! My mind is a much worse disaster, I have insomnia that is much worse. I must admit, it’s very scary! I agree, avoid other medicines!
I am so sorry you are experiencing an increase in symptoms. In time, your CNS will settle down. Hold on! Other meds can make us worse, but some people feel they have helped them hold on, so I don’t want to paint a black and white scenario. Like everything else in withdrawal, it is unique to each person. Thanks for your message and I hope that you turn a corner very soon and feel better.
Ah yes, the head symptoms from walking! Crazy, aren’t they!! I had them all the time for awhile. It was maddening. I wanted to get some gentle exercise but I’d feel like I was dying if I so much as walked around the block. It all left. Your symptoms will too, in time. Keep the faith and keep healing. Let us know you are are doing.
Thank you and God bless you Jennifer!
I am so sorry to hear that you have nerve pain. It can be so debilitating, I know. And why the right side seems to be hit hardest for many of us, I don’t know. I am not aware of anything that takes away the pain, really. I used to take warm showers (I sadly, don’t have a tub) when it hit. I also used the heating pads that you put in the microwave (filled with buckwheat) and they helped some. I worked with a wonderful healer who gave me very gentle massages, and that helped at least take my mind off of the pain while I was on the table. I never tried OTC pain meds as I am wayyyyyyyyyyy too scared of swallowing any other meds. Maybe someone else will chime in here with a solution that they tried. Hope you feel better soon. I know you will heal in time. We all do.
Right? Crazy stuff. Thank God it goes away in time.
Jennifer, thank you for your reply and support! God blessyou!
Entering my third year of a very slow water titration withdrawal from klonopin. My doctor at the time also put me on Valium to help.
I’m hoping that wasn’t another mistake, since I’ll have to withdraw from that some year, after healing from klonopin. I tried to explain to my doctor that I had been “kindled”. The sad part is, he didn’t even have a clue to what that was, and just said that I was withdrawing too slow.
Then tried to put me on Zoloft. When I refused he got very unhappy with me, and started trying to talk over me while I was telling him that I hadn’t healed yet from the klonopin. Needless to say…he is NO Longer my doctor.
Jennifer, thank you for your reply and support. God bless you!
Great blog and much needed right now! I am 76 days out from stopping Xanax cold turkey. It has been a rough ride. Blessedly, I was only on .25 mg 2x daily, for 3 months. However, there is still significant damage from that short time frame. Blows my mind how much damage these drugs do. It often feels like I am living in a Picasso version of my own body. I know its me, but the pieces are a bit distorted. Right now, I am needing daily (and sometimes more often) reminders that I will be ok, that I will heal, that I have already healed a lot. Health anxiety seems to be the worst for me now. I had a mild version of it before (which is why the doc prescribed Xanax. Ugh!), but it has really amped up since my c/t from the drug. I keep telling myself “all is ok. Its withdrawal” But some days, the worry goes off the charts! Reading your posts helps to keep it all in perspective. Thank you!
Thank you for your kind words. And yes, God blesses me every day!
You’ll get off the Valium as well, I’m sure. Keep going. Keep healing. We are here if you need any help or support.
Everyone seems to get health anxiety in benzo withdrawal. It comes with the territory. Hopefully, after your CNS settles down, you won’t be bothered with negative thoughts or concerns about your health. Keep healing!
Thanks Jennifer! It is amazing what these drugs do to us. I never gave my blood pressure a second thought before. It was always “normal”. Now? All over the board. I know it will all settle down. Thinking I need to just throw away my blood pressure monitor and stop worrying about it!
Many of us have wide fluctuations in Benzo withdrawal. Like you, I rvebtuakky stopped checking mine on a regular basis. It helped me to not worry as much. Not focusing on my symptoms also helped.
I am 29 months off and have been homebound since month 13. My sensory system doesn’t seem to work. I don’t know what else I can do but wait and I am worried because of finances. Also, I have the pain on the left side that the person had on the right side. Heating pad and warm showers help with a little relief. Anyway, thanks for the post. I hope one day I heal because at 29 months it feels almost hopeless with no window. How do you cope with hopeless feelings after so long?
29 months is a long time to suffer, I know. I am so sorry that you are still having benzo withdrawal symptoms. It can take quite some time for us to heal. Hopefully, you’ll see some improvement soon. What keeps you housebound? If you could get out, even for a short time, you might feel a bit better. At least, that was my experience. Staying inside made me focused only on my symptoms, and it created a vicious cycle of fear and self-pity and hopelessness. I had to tell my body that I was taking it outside and that I’d take good care of it. And it helped me a great deal. Even though I had bad symptoms, I made myself get out in the world. Do you think this might help you, even a little bit? Not knowing what causes you to be housebound, I don’t know the answer to that question. Pain on the left side is not unusual. Pain can be only on the left or right or it can travel all over the body. It will go away, in time. I know, we are all tired of the TIME word. 🙂 But eventually, our CNS does settle back down. Let us know if you are able to get out a little and how that goes for you. Sending my love to you.
Thanks for your response. I get terribly motion sick after trying to ride in a car for more than 5 minutes. I feel like I will die. Then I end up with a migraine like headache and vertigo. I have awful balance issues and sensory issues. I just started being able to watch a little tv as the movement on tv used to make me motion sick. I walk about 500 steps at a time outside and sit in my backyard. I had to work up to doing all of this. But I am homebound because when I ride in a car I get deathly ill from the vibrations. I do hope it shifts soon. Thanks for listening. God bless.
A follow up on the nerve pain: in addition to what you suggested Jennifer, I want to add that the TENS Device helps me a great deal. Jenn, I hear you and want you to know that you are not alone. I am at 23 months off and have also had no windows. Baylissa calls this waves within waves. Let me know if you would like to correspond with me personally so that we can support one another. On Facebook, you can find me under: Kathy Peck Kali.Godby. Jennifer, the reason I am homebound is because the pain is so great. I have difficulty getting from the bed to the bathroom. I have tried to go out but it’s really no fun to be out and in this much pain. Occasionally, I’ll have a day in which the pain, while still constant and intense, is a bit better. While those days are few and far between, I do try to get out when I can. I’m just so grateful for my online connection right now. Did you also experience nerve pain?
P.S. have you thought about doing a membership Facebook page with group coaching and a place in which we could all share as a community? I would absolutely love that!
I haven’t heard much about the TENS unit. I had one but never tried it. Glad it works for you. I am sorry that it is the pain that keeps you homebound. Hopefully, it will get better soon. Even people who have had severe pain eventually see improvements and are able to get out and reclaim their lives. I am considering creating a group for protracted people. I haven’t yet decided about the logistics, but I see more and more of a need for a place where we can share our experience, strength, and hope with one another. Keep healing!
I hope this passes for you very soon. Your story reminds me of one of a woman who had CFS and she was unable to ride in a car. She trained her brain over time, and by adding five minutes at a time to her riding, she was able to get over her dizziness and motion sickness. She finally was able to be a passenger to drive across the USA! So, I know that we can and we will, get better. Time, patience, and baby steps, just as you are doing. Keep us posted on your progress. I know you’ll be out and about in the world again.
Thank you so much for your support. I have talked to you three times, and each time I felt a little better.
I can not believe all the poison that these doctors try to push on people.( I was so stupid to ever start
klonopin in the first place, but I Trusted My Doctors). No More! Wishing everyone stuck in benzo hell the
best in life. We will get better!
Jen you and Shari were talking about blood pressure same is happening to me..I did stop taking my blood pressure but when I get dizzy like that my mind goes completely to craziness..feels like you can’t control emotions and then my heart beat goes crazy..I told you before I go to doctor and its high because I not only freak out about my vision but I don’t trust them anymore…they always put you on meds which scares me going through this..but sometimes you ask yourself what is from what?do I have high blood pressure? Is it withdrawal? That’s when you need to try and calm down because anziety makes it so worse an get out or go do something..because anziety raises your pressure…it is sometimes like Groundhog Day…but thank God we have each other I don’t know what I would do…you guys make me feel so much better …thx you guys!!!! We Will heal!!!!❤️
If someone needs to take blood pressure meds in withdrawal that’s fine. I took Inderal prn during my setback. But I also stopped focusing on my bp and it finally calmed down.
Hi Jennifer. I am now at 47 months and 2 weeks. I have never had a 100% window. Every single time I feel better, especially mentally, I guess I tend to do too much. I end up crashing physically AND mentally for several days. It is so distressing to keep doing this. I think I’m going to try doing nothing at all next time I get a partial window. Maybe just enjoy the calmness of mind and body. This last holiday I felt good enough for 5 days, to tackle a small bathroom remodel job. I used to love re- decorating/remodeling. It was the first time in 20 years I actually WANTED to do something like this. Then I crashed, big time! 3 days in a row of being so off balance I could not function at all, coupled with the ever present fear factor. Today the dizziness is gone and once again I feel like I’m heading for another partial window. I guess my questions would be: are partial windows a sign of healing and does Benzo recovery just have a mind of its own so it doesn’t matter what we do? Why do I keep feeling like I take 2 steps forward and one back? I’m exhausted! Can healing happen overnight, in your opinion, or is it more likely to be a gradual thing? Did you have a moment in time that you just KNEW you were going to be completely healed, or did it waffle alot all the way to the end? Thanks Jennifer. ♥
Thank you for posting the question. In my own experience, and from hearing from so many people from around the world, this sputtering of good to bad is completely normal. We don’t yet have a solidly healed CNS, and when we do too much, we become symptomatic again. I think it does matter what we do. I think resting and not pushing ourselves can help us recover. We may still have ups and downs, that is just part of the process, but if we rest more, and not push, avoid stress and drama, we may have less of a roller coaster ride. It’s so hard to avoid wanting to jump back into life after being on the sidelines for so long. But we have to remember that even though we may feel well, or CNS may still be healing. We need to not jump back into life full tilt. We can’t do all that we did before right away. We must pace ourselves. It’s like if you broke your leg. You may walk just fine after the cast comes off. No pain. No problems. But if you were to run a marathon, you may have pain, because even though the cast is off, your leg may still be healing on some microscopic level. Allow your CNS to heal. I’ll be blogging about this soon. YOu WILL get better. The ups and downs will flatten out and you’ll be back out living your life without having to pay the piper.
Just thank you so much,Jennifer. You are very encouraging and reassuring, which I seem to need EVERY SINGLE DAY right now. ♡♡
You guys want to laugh..was watching ground hog day that I said how we feel sometimes..well guess what through all that craziness at the end of movie he becomes a kinder more compassionate more sincere sweet guy who falls in love and then it stops one day…that’s us guys!!! Where changing for the best like you said Jen and we’ll never be the same in a good way…we’re gunna be better than we were before….amen!!! Hang in its comming😜💕
So true! I’m glad you noticed the transformation in the movie. And we have the same transformation. Thanks for sharing.
Lynne – you are so right! This journey does change us, usually for the better. While the road has been hard, there have been so many positives. I’ve found a deeper spirituality in my life. I’ve cut out unhealthy relationships, so I could focus on healing. I’ve become more in tune with my own body and it’s reactions to things. My marriage is stronger. Sometimes, we get so wrapped up in the hard stuff that we forget to see and celebrate the positives.
I hear a lot about how benzo withdrawal symptoms (heart palpitations, high BP etc) are a part of withdrawal and won’t harm you. Just a word of warning, I tapered from 2 mg Valium last August with what I know now to be too big cuts. My dr was pretty clueless and said “it was only a low dose and I’d only been presecribed it for 4 weeks” prior to spinal surgery in July due to severe muscle spasm. I was told to taper 0.5 mg every 10-14 days and it was horrific, heart rate of 140 bpm and BP 220/120. Thankfully I found Heather Ashton and reduced the cuts but the damage had been done and I had a stroke at the end of November. The hospital attributed it to the benzo withdrawal as I’d had a full cardiac workup prior to the surgery and everything was normal. So I would like to say that if anyone was to pose the question “Will I die in withdrawal?”, I would have to answer, “Yes, you might” so please everyone take note and if you are experiencing heart rate surges etc etc PLEASE go and get checked out, it will probably be ok but don’t take any chances, benzos take enough from us, don’t let them take your life as well.
It’s so nice to have a place to come to where people actually understand what you’re going through, and don’t judge you
as a drug addict. But when your doctors started it all in the first place by telling you that you “need” klonopin or valium,
they should take some responsibility, but sadly…they don’t.
I’m so sorry that you had that experience. It’s always a good idea to monitor blood pressure during withdrawal. Always seek medical help if you need it. There isn’t a cure for Benzo withdrawal, but we can get help with the serious issues such as high blood pressure.
There are many other issues of benzo withdrawal that are never acknowledged by drs, I am in Australia and my daughter lives in New York. Last week she had a baby (with some complications), it is her first and I am too unwell from withdrawal to travel to see her. The day after, my mother in the UK had a serious stroke and I am unable to travel to see her also. The unbearable sadness that is overwhelming me at the moment is something I never believed possible. The ramifications of ill educated drs goes further than they are ever prepared to acknowledge. I might add than when I went to my dr with the racing heart and sky high blood pressures I was told to “just tough it out”, just beggars belief and I have no faith in any dr now.
Juliet, I feel so sorry for you because I can relate to your issue. I have missed the birth of three grandchildren. It has saddened me so much, but there is no way I can travel. I agree with everything in your reply. Dan
Thanks so much for your reply Dan, and also Jennifer. This is the first time I have ever posted and told my “story” (shortened version), somehow just writing it down and have someone understand and validate me has helped immensely.All this suffering from just 2 mgs of Valium for 4 weeks prior to a surgery that I had to have. Thankyou once again, you have pulled me out of the pit a little.
Hello there! I am new to sharing on the board. I suffered Benzo and Antidepressant wd almost 3 years ago to the day. Most horrific experience of my life which words cannot describe.. I am still trucking along everyday. All though I have healed in so many way for some reason I am still dealing with some DP/DR and having a hard time tapping into my emotions. Especially love for my husband and babies. I feel like once this passes I will be recovered. I try and not let it bother me so much anymore but it still lingers. I went through so much more .. I had every symptom in the book you can imagine and most days didn’t think I would make it. But by Gods grace I am here. I even became preganant with my second child when I was halfway through recovery. I pray for everyone and there healing and just wondering if anyone can relate to the DP/DR and emotions. Hope you are all well!
First of all I would like to send blessings to everyone in the withdrawal and post-withdrawal community.
I am 6 months into a 3mg per day Ativan taper, now on 2mg of Diazepam. I have taken anti-depressants and Benzos for 1 year. I tapered to 1mg over two weeks ago but found the withdrawal symptoms agony so had to updose back to 2mg to try and stabilise. So far it is not working. I am in bed and wishing I was dead as I am so frightened and full of burning panic and hopelessness. I thought I was doing okish going slowly and exercising and seeing a therapist. I feel this last cut has REALLY sent me back into the swamp.
It is horrifying how our lives can rapidly spiral out of control due to these drugs.
I am from the UK but became mentally ill with anxiety and panic attacks whilst living in Canada two years ago. I was prescribed anti-depressants and a Benzo to help with the start-up effects. The first anti-depressant made me severely ill and was augmented with a mood stabiliser before I was cross-tapered to another, more potent, anti-depressant with a rapid titration up to a maximum dose. I lost 30 lbs in several weeks and ended up on a psych ward where a 200lb woman threatened me. The rooms on the ward were bare as a prison cell and the tv was blaring in the communal area. Other patients hobbled about in a distressed state. I screamed for my husband and asked to be discharged.
How I managed to travel back home I will never know. I just know I was heavily medicated and very frightened.
Right now I feel like my life is over, as I am frightened that even if, by some miracle, I manage to finish my taper, I will still have anxiety and then I will need to start again to taper the anti-depressants. It feels like a very long, dark tunnel.
I have huge admiration for Dr Jennifer and all those who are going through withdrawal from longerm use or high doses and also those who have had huge trauma in their lives and manage to carry on. I have a young child who needs me, but still I struggle with thoughts of death. I know it is the withdrawal and I have to hang on. I pray for greater strength.
I have to admit that I knew the dangers of Benzos and anti-depressants before I started, having worked in the medical profession. But I was so ill from the anxiety and starving to death that I felt I had no choice to make a pact with the Devil. I thought I would be ok and the process would not take long. Maybe we all think that or HOPE that. Or maybe we are just tragically desperate and cling on to anything. I think that’s what I did. Yes I was shoe-horned onto both medications by doctors, but I couldn’t relax on my own to get food down.
Now I know I am paying the piper, as Dr Jennifer said. I just hope I can make it.
Love to you all out there.
Xxxxxx
Rachel I really feel for you right now, I too have been in the bowels of hell on every level possible from these evil drugs and the ill educated drs that prescribe them. I am now at a point where I believe I will recover and despite what you believe now, you will recover too, the benzo loop of lies is very potent and the only way I managed to cope with all my symptoms has been acceptance, with this acceptance of my journey came some small amount of calm. Hang in there, for yourself, for your child and because you are worth it. It is a tough road but you WILL recover. Sending you healing hugs xx