Those of us who got hit hard in benzo withdrawal and felt that we were (finally!) healed were eager to get back to our normal lives. We’d been sidelined for too many months, even years. We were patient. We were strong. We held onto the hope that we would recover. And, one day, we did. We embraced our lives in a new way; we wanted to cram as much life into every waking moment as possible. We had a lot of catching up to do!
The mistake many of us make is that we jump back into our lives too soon, too quickly. We don’t pace ourselves. We run full steam ahead until exhausted, we collapse, and our benzo symptoms creep back in. Most of the time we get a warning, like “idiot” lights on a car, there are signs that we are over doing things. We may have a few quick dizzy spells or head pressure. Insomnia may creep back in for a few nights. Maybe our nerve pain shows up again, or we have weakness or fatigue. These are all signs that we are overtaxing our fragile central nervous system. We need to take heed and slow down. We need to remove ourselves from stressful situations. We need to practice extreme self-care or we run the risk of a setback. For some of us, this means that we will need to be careful of our stress levels for a very long time, possibly the rest of our lives.
Setbacks have happened to people even though they were many years out from their last benzo dose. Their central nervous system couldn’t handle the stress and strain they were living under and they slowly unraveled back to having benzo withdrawal symptoms. If you want to avoid setbacks, do your best to eat clean and healthy. (One ingredient foods are a good idea.) Make sure you stay hydrated, especially in the summer months when the rise in temperatures can play havoc with your brain and body. Limit your exposure to stress. Try to keep an even keel on your emotions. Don’t overtax your body with exceptionally strenuous exercise. Avoid any medication or supplement that works on GABA receptors.
I know we all want to wring every last ounce of joy and excitement out of life once we heal. I’m certainly guilty of overdoing it. I forget that I have a fragile brain. And I tend to ignore the warning lights that come on when I do too much. I’ve been going like a house-a-fire the last few months and it finally caught up with me. I’ve got head pressure, dizziness, nerve and joint pain; I basically feel like shit again. I know this wave will pass, they always do. But it’s a good reminder for me to share with you the absolute necessity for some of us to pace ourselves and to pay attention to the signs that we are getting closer and closer to having a full-blown setback. We have to take exceptionally good care of ourselves, without feeling guilty about it. Make your complete healing your priority. Learn to say “No!” to others who want you to do things that will stress you, and say “No!” to your own ego that tries to seduce you into thinking that you can and should do it all and have it all. We can’t. We’ve been injured by a benzodiazepine and we’ve got to respect that we need to take life a bit more slowly and mindfully. Respecting the healing that we’ve attained, and the journey that we’ve been on will go a long way to creating a wonderful life.
Jennifer, the timing of this post is amazing. At this time I am facing seveal very stressful situations that I can not avoid as they are family related. The setback has been unbelievable. I am feeling terrible. One quick question, would you mind listing some supplements that affect gaba, I can not remember any. Thank you and God bless you! Dan
Thanks Dr Jennifer for this excellent post. I am 12 months benzo off now but facing very severe symptoms like anxiety ,insomnia, jerks ,twiches ,depression and head pressure including ear pressure also. I don’t have any stressful family issue but after my retirement from Govt job in 2014 recently I joined consultancy service here again 6 months back just with the purpose of some engagement and distraction. Although my job is not stressful but I have to attend office 5 days in a week from 9am to 6 pm. Can you suggest me should I continue it or not .
Best regards
Arvind
Arvind, there is no way for me to know what’s best for you. However, I believe that deep inside you know. If I were to pose the same question to you, what would you answer? Is it better for you to work or not right now? Trust your intuition. You have the right answer.
Avoid alcohol, kava kava, valerian, chamomile, phenibut, oil of oregano, Passion flower, etc. it’s been reported that Tylenol is better handled than Advil. Caffeine is a no-no as is sugar. Msg must be avoided too. Not everything that revs us up works on GABA; some are excitotoxins. Eat one ingredient foods. Avoid vitamins and supplements. Avoid taking more drugs, otc or prescription. Get out in nature. Feel the sun on your skin. Enjoy the breeze. Listen to the birds. Practice gratitude. Acceptance. Patience. Distraction. Take life slow and easy. Don’t push the river!
Thank you for replying Jennifer. You are so wonderful!
Hi Jenn, Although I don’t feel anywhere healed, as I get more strength, the more I would like to do. However, even changing the duvet at the moment makes me unstable, and I still have to write everything down that I need to do. I do feel such a failure in many respects and then I read some of your old posts and think hey I am moving forward. My work is hassling me big time to go back, but I do not feel ready yet by any means. I still have a very large amount of physical symptoms and they are horrid to deal with day in day out, but I can see small progress. I cannot imagine being in the real world at the moment, so my small world will do.
I’m a little scared at the moment, can you please tell me if your waves are really bad and do they stop you from living?
Love and Hugs across the Pond
Jackie
Edinburgh
Love and prayers to all
Jackie, it’s smart to
Listen to your intuition. If it’s saying to stay in your safe little world for now, respect that. My waves have usually been mild since my 3
Year wave. I may have needed to rest a bit. I’ve definitely been able to live around my symptoms. I’ve driven across the USA alone twice! I’ve written three books, taught classes, gardened, helped others garden, walk three miles a day, etc. however, this wave has knocked me off of my feet. I know it scares people to hear that, but we can’t heal if we stick our heads in the sand. Not everyone will have setbacks. I think those of us who do might be dealing with health issues such as immune problems. Who knows, really. Just live in today. Be grateful for this gift called life. Hold on. Keep healing. Better days are ahead. I’m proud of you! Love you.
Hello, Jennifer. My friend has gotten addicted to Xanax after being hospitalized for pneumonia in April 2016. She took a low dose, about 0.5 mg per day, but was on it too long. Now that she knows she’s addicted, she’s trying to cut down, but is having trouble. Could you tell me what dosage level you were at, and for how long? I’m hoping that my friend will have a better life than many others, and not have the relapses, since her dose was pretty low. Anything that will give her more hope for the future would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for your advice.
There is a link to the Ashton Manual on my front page. Have her explore that. It’s our best guide for withdrawal.
Jenn, great post, also a painful reminder. I do wonder how does one avoid the daily stresses of life? Normal family events and get togethers occur and just attending can be stressful with no expectations to really do anything.
Hello, Jennifer. I’m sorry to hear about your setback. However fiercely your symptoms may rage, they will not, and can not, be as strong or pervasive as they were during the years you were in tolerance withdrawal or withdrawal. Although there is nothing you can do to make these symptoms go away, I will go so far as to say that there is nothing you can do to prevent yourself from healing! (Aside from reinstating a benzo, obviously.) This wave will pass away, no matter what. And you certainly know how to cope as well as anyone! Keep healing! -Jeff
Jeff, thank you for your kind words. I’m doing EXACTLY what I coach my clients to do: practice radical acceptance. Eat clean. Rest. Have patience. Be grateful. Distract. I know this wave will pass, in time. It is a good lesson for me. I am a big doer. I need to relax more and go more with the flow.
Larry, great question. Life does have its normal stressors built into it, doesn’t it. We can cope by pacing ourselves. Don’t do too much. Don’t attend too many social events. Build in time for yourself to decompress after events. Find things that help you calm down and soothe your soul. We can’t avoid all stressors, but we can minimize our intersections and we can learn things to do to rejuvenate.
Jennifer – thank you for everything you do. You’re information has been invaluable. I have two questions: 1. Once a person has been damaged by a neuroactive substance withdrawal, are we “damaged” forever – or will there be a day (however long it takes…), when we are “repaired” and we can live as we did before the withdrawal? And 2. What do you think of NAD+ IV Therapy (Brain Restoration Therapy)?
I think some can live as they did before and some not so much. Some of us have to be super diligent. I think everyone needs to heal their guts as a lot of residual symptoms can be from leaky gut issues. It’s one of the reasons I don’t eat gluten. As for the other question, I’m not that familiar with it. I’ve not heard of anyone getting better due to any Iv treatment or Neuro feedback etc. If there is anyone reading this who has benefited I’d love to know your story.
Hi guys. Nicki here. I’m helping care for my dying dad.it’s very stressful as my mom has dementia..well. he does too as well as cancer. I’m managing by the grace of God.I so agree about gut health jenn. Have you come across Jordan Rubinstein “The Makers Diet” it’s really very similar to the gaps diet. Jennifer. .. I’m praying for you. This too shall pass. Hugs and love xxxx
That’s Jordan rubin xxx!!!
Thanks for this Jenn
You will recover from this setback, just as I have done from my seven year off wave. Take it easy and put your feet up or potter in ur garden. I feel much better now, but I know I still have to be careful. I see each setback as an opportunity to curl up with a good book and a cup of green tea!
You’re right, one of the biggest causes of setbacks is stress and simply doing too much. Friends and family think you are completely healed and can become impatient when you can’t keep up.
Gut health as you say, is one of the most important things for our recovery. I would urge anyone contemplating tapering off a benzo to heal any leaky gut, candida infections etc before they embark on the taper, because once into withdrawal it’s very hard to tolerate some of the supplements required for gut healing.
I take a teaspoon of coconut oil at night as a gentle anti fungal and a low dose probiotic in the morning because I can’t tolerate a high dose one.
I also eat only foods that are non inflammatory to me personally.
One thing to note is that giving up certain foods such as gluten or caffeine can bring on its own withdrawal.
Foods that still aggravate my nervous system are sugar (including refined carbs, which I don’t eat), too much fructose, caffeine, alcohol, foods too salty or too vinegary. Also all fermented foods.
Hope this is helpful to someone. And hope you feel much better soon Jenn!
Hi – I am new to the benzo forums. I gave my story, but not sure if on this site. I have titrated off Klonopin 1 mg three times a day for 15 years – and am now using Ativan 1 mg morning and evening. I have been on this for 6 months. Didn’t start getting symptoms until recently. I am also on Lamictal 200 mg and Paxil 20 mg. I plan on getting rid of both of them after this taper is done and I am stable. I have a question. I saw somewhere that you advised against vitamins. I had a gastric bypass 3 years ago and I must take a multi-vitamin, vitamin D3, and B12 daily for the rest of my life as a protocol. What effect exactly do the vitamins do that you don’t recommend them? Also, I had a partial thyroidectomy for benign nodules about 5 years ago, so I am on Synthroid for life and am now hypothyroid. Sorry for the multiple questions – just need some advice. Thanks!
Hi. You probably have your story at benzo Buddies. Glad you stopped by here as well. Vitamins can make some of us feel worse. If you need to take them for your health, of course, keep taking them. It’s usually people who add them
In during their taper or recovery that have a bad reaction. I wouldn’t sweat it. Congrats on getting to the home stretch in your taper. You’ve got this!
Thanks for sharing. I’m sure I’ll feel better soon. This was a big setback for me. I’m fairly couch bound right now. Too dizzy and weak. I’ll be blogging soon about the magic power of SLOW. Once I’m back up and running–strike that–walking, I’ll be exploring all the wonders of a slow and thoughtful life. This was a big wake up call for me. I’m still an over-doer. But my body is saying “that’s enough of that bullshit.” :). Glad you bounced back. I’ve also been in touch with Matt Samat for his advice. He had a major setback. The same advice applies as to the original recovery: good nutrition, rest, acceptance, distraction, patience.
You’re in our thoughts and prayers.
Hi Jennifer. So sorry to hear of the difficult wave you are in. You have recovered from a lot worse so I have no doubt you will successfully get through this. I know it is very disconcerting however not knowing if we will ever be our old selves again. I guess the only way to know for sure is to push the limits to see if we can “get away with it”. I know that you have the MTHFR mutation and I know of one other individual that has a CYP450 mutation. You mentioned Matt Samat…I read his book and know he had a very hard recovery also and I’d be curious if he also has a mutation. It makes me wonder if those of us that have a really hard time have these mutations that effect our recovery. When I get the money I plan on getting the gene testing done. I know you are an over achiever but even just paring it down a bit it still sounds like you can still have a very full life that is fuller than the average person has to begin with. With your strength and optimism I know you will continue to lead a great life. Wishing you a spendy recovery and praying for everyone else going through this very challenging journey.
A speedy recovery!!
Hi Jenn, Thank you for your reply, I hope this horrid time for you passes really quick, and that you start to see improvement soon. I’m sure I’m not alone in sending you huge prayers and huge love to see you through this temporary setback. You always make sure we are ok, and help us endlessly. Please for now have some “Jennifer” time, you soooooooo deserve it!! We all Love you. Hugs across the Pond
Jackie
Edinburgh
Hi Jennifer, just want to quickly ask you if this is strictly a physical setback or is there any mental stuff involved? I’m waaay more concerned about my mental state( fear and anhedonia) at almost 37 months off of Klonopin. Hope you recover quickly. ♥
This wave is 100% physical. I have head pressure, double vision, ear fullness, dizziness, weakness, tingling, burning, pain, twitching, and my tinnitus is louder than ever. Not fun. But I know it’s my CNS on overdrive. I’ve been talking to others who have had setbacks and I’m now fairly certain that my cross country drive set this setback into motion. I didn’t take my dog this time, and therefore I didn’t have to stop often for him to use the bathroom. So I was in the car for very long stretches. The vibration wasn’t good for my brain. Plus, on the way to our farm, I hit severe weather a few times. It was stressful. I had head pressure and dizziness a few times on the road. On the way home I pushed way too hard. 2600 miles in four days. I ate crap. Every night in the hotel I felt a bit dizzy and tired. So, this setback didn’t “just happen.” I brought it on myself, not knowing I was setting myself up for this to happen. We don’t have to live like monks, but we do need to be mindful that until we are 100% healed, we must listen carefully to cues our bodies are giving us. I didn’t listen to mine until I pushed it past its limits. I’m paying the price, but I assure you, I’ve learned my lesson.
Jennifer, very understandable! So sorry this has happened to you. EVERY SINGLE TIME I feel like doing something, I end up pushing myself too much. I’m now learning to just sit all day and enjoy the calmness in my brain and body when a window happens. An interesting thing happened about 3 weeks ago. Out of the blue, I was hit with severe kidney area pain and bladder and vaginal pain. It nearly brought me to my knees, the pain was so bad. I took Ibuprofen for the first time in 2 years or so. This went on for 9 days, all day, every day. I looked up the symtom and thought it was Benzo related so I thought I would just endure tiil it passed. It passed alright, on the 9th day at precisely 7am, in the form of a kidney stone . It’s the largest one I’VE ever seen. Relief was instantaneous! I’ve had them 3 times now, in 15 years or so. I passed one about 6 years ago but I didn’t recognize the symtoms this time because of all the other symptoms going on. Talk about a distraction! I didn’t think about Benzo withdrawal/recovery that whole time, I was so focused on the server pain. I felt so good the day it passed, I was literally dancing around the house the whole day! It was a window into what being completely recovered will feel like. Kind of back to the same old crap now, but it was great while it lasted. 37 months now and I’m not giving up. I have to believe that healing will happen. Did you get windows of the fear lifting and then coming back, and if so, did they start coming more and more frequently, or boom! the fear was gone? Hope your wave passes soon. Glad the mental junk dd not come back. ♥♥
Jennifer, I am sending you healing vibes. I look forward to talking again after you tend to yourself. I wonder if anyone on here is a female in my age range (38) and would like to share emails or chat on the phone. I am struggling in withdrawal and looking to build up a little support group of people who understand. I am tapering from klonopin and even a slow taper is proving agonizing. I wish the best to all the folks out there fighting.
robin
I have been off 3.7 years hit a major setback from over doing it! How long was ur three year wave!!? Boy this has dadp, panick attacks, dizzy, and air hunger and a vibrating head. I can’t believe I was ok for 3.4 years to go back into acute! I’m sorry I are also in a wave! They do end right??
Yes, the end. Sorry you got hit. You know what to do to get through it. One day at a time.
Robin, hope you find a great support group. Keep healing. Better days are ahead. Sending you good thoughts.
Hi Jen I’m sorry to hear your in a wave..I thought that pain and all is good it means your healing..who knows with this unfortunate nightmare…when I read this I got so afraid but your honesty is refreshing….we will heal one day it just can take so long..I pray for all going through this and with Gods mercy we’ll be ok each and every day …He walks with us and will get us through this!!!!hang on its coming !!! This to shall pass…your an amazing person…hang on!!! This always helps me…Jeremiah 29:11 for I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord,plans to prosper you and not to harm you,plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE…..God bless….lynne