It’s hard to believe that there is no cure for benzodiazepine withdrawal.
I used to scratch my head and wonder how we could put a man on the moon, but we couldn’t seem to find a cure (or even much relief, for that matter) for benzo withdrawal. When I was suffering horribly after my cold turkey from the benzo I had taken as prescribed, I spent a lot of time online researching everything I could in hopes of finding a way out. Was inositol a help? Or niacin? What about the MTHFR gene mutation? Wouldn’t some L-methylfolate help with that? Maybe acupuncture or massage would do the trick. I tried a lot of different supplements, foods, therapies, and gizmos and gadgets. Nothing worked to take away my symptoms. And some things made me feel worse. A lot worse.
I wasted a lot of money.
I was desperate for relief and believed that I would find the answer to withdrawal suffering, even though all the people who had suffered before me had never found the answer. My search for a cure didn’t help my recovery; it only helped to empty my savings account. There wasn’t anything that helped my receptors heal any faster; there no way out but through.
Most doctors don’t know about benzo withdrawal.
I wasted a lot of time and energy, too. I wanted a doctor to validate what I was experiencing, but none of them knew anything about withdrawal. A few promised that they did, but they didn’t. I used to argue with doctors, doing my best to explain to them that I was in benzo withdrawal, but it didn’t do any good. They didn’t believe me and often gave me very bad advice or an erroneous diagnosis. It’s demoralizing to suffer because of the medical community and then to be either ignored or disbelieved by that community.
The definition of insanity is…
doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting a different outcome. I felt sorta crazy, or at least out of control until I stopped searching frantically for some way out of benzo withdrawal. So I finally stopped seeing doctors for every odd symptom I had. It wasn’t worth the anger and frustration I felt. And I stopped searching online for a cure. I came to understand that there are no pills, no potions, no lotions, no vitamins, no supplements, no therapies, no treatments, that can hasten the recovery of GABA receptors.
There wasn’t much I could do other than good self-care and patience.
I learned to eat really healthily, avoid stress, find ways to distract, to be of service, to practice acceptance, and to be patient. I stopped spending hours and hours online googling for something to “save me,” and I got on with my life as best as I could. I stopped thinking that there was a pill or a supplement that would erase my suffering. I knew that there wasn’t. I learned how to cope with my insomnia, pain, weakness, fatigue, tingles, blurry vision, and even anxiety and depression. Not that it was fun, but I managed to keep going.
Acceptance reduces suffering.
When I got on with my life and accepted that I had to wait for my nervous system to recover from the damage caused by the benzo, I felt stronger, more empowered. When I stopped searching for a cure and instead asked myself (and God) how I was going to cope and what I was going to do, I turned a corner emotionally; I stopped feeling like a victim. From there, I began to mature spiritually. Acceptance wasn’t just a way to get through benzo withdrawal, it was a way to face all of my life. And I embraced it with both arms, for it helped me to be at peace, which in turn helped me to heal the things that got me on the medication to begin with!
It’s okay to stop searching.
It’s okay to stop searching for a way out of benzo withdrawal. It’s okay to practice extreme self-care-—to rest, avoid stress, and to eat clean and healthily. It’s okay to stop trying to get doctors to understand or believe you. It’s okay to let family and friends think what they will about you. It’s okay to be patient; knowing in your heart that one day, you will recover. It’s okay to live just in today, not looking back with regret or ahead with worry. It’s okay to be you, just as you are, right now.
That’s what so needed to read today. Such a significant and important message. You are absolutely right. Thank you for reminding us to redirect our energy onto more fruitful efforts like helping ourselves heal.
This was right on! I too was looking for the perfect cure. There is none. A lot of things help but nothing is the end all be all. I’m still in the taper phase but it’s still hard. Your posts help me so much. Just knowing I’m not alone is sometimes the best cure of all. Thank you!
How do you work while going through a benzo detox? I am also detoxing from methadone which makes this an absolute hell on Earth. I have been fighting this for 32 years. This stuff makes a heroin detox like a walk in the park. I am ready to give up and take my own life.
Thank you Jennifer, that was perfect, and was helpful and supportive. I know you have been through a lot of suffering, but God is using you to help so many others in the same or similar boat! Hopefully I can do the same later after I am more healed and more stable. I hope you are now fully recovered from your recent setback. Take care!
how do you avoid stress if withdrawal is inherently stressful. It’s not like Im going out and arguing or sitting in traffic jams. I can;t do anything cus I’m so sick, I have to lie in bed most of the day. Even doing that is stressful because of the akathisia and other horrible symptoms. I can’t avoid stress, my existence is stressful right now, what do you mean when you say avoid stress????
Omg…so right!!! It boggles my mind what these drugs do and have done to people’s lives..our only hope is God and time…lots of time sometimes…it sure does get hard though!!! When no one gets it but like you I’ve learned I can’t expect them too..but it’s plain sad!!! thx jen
Acceptance. It is truly the only “cure”; for me anyway. Acceptance of the past and learning to let go and continue to grow. I incorporate and practice acceptance and the art of letting (all things negative) go on a daily basis as I am back at work and am off xanax completely since last June and on a taper w/ klonopin now. This has truly been the fight of my life.
Thank you Dr. Leigh. You have been a light at the end of my tunnel. <3
You are very welcome. Keep going on your road to recovery. You’re doing great. And it’s worth it. Blessings.
I agree with this however we are left to wonder if we actually do recover. Unfortunately it is difficult to reconcile as so many pillars of this community fall into a setback. It would be different if there were thousands of documented concrete recoveries. However there are not. Is the truth just staring us in the face?
It is easy to wonder if we do heal. Many of us wondered that. But I do believe that we eventually recover. I certainly felt wonderful before my setback. But just because I had a setback doesn’t mean that I won’t heal again. Many people go on to recover 100%. So there are thousands and thousands of stories out there about full recovery. To worry that one won’t heal only keeps one stuck in a negative mind space, and that isn’t good for our nervous system. (no idea why my keyboard is putting so much space after the I . )