If social media has shown us anything, it has shown us that everyone has an opinion, even if that opinion isn’t based on truth, on facts. Post about your experience of benzo withdrawal (or tell someone about it) and you’ll probably trigger a landslide of unasked for advice based on opinions, not truth or facts. And very often, those opinions aren’t helpful; they are hurtful.
I’ll never forget the time a stranger told me to eat purple food because it had a better vibrational quality that would eradicate my symptoms. I did my best to kindly explain what causes benzo withdrawal—the down-regulated GABA receptors causing a hyperexcited nervous system, and I doubted that a purple food would magically, Abbra Cadabra, repair said receptors. But she kept on. And on. And on. Implying that I didn’t WANT to be healed and that I was the problem. I was the reason I wasn’t healed from the cold turkey my doctor had pushed upon me after eighteen years of prescribed use.
Then there were the well-meaning friends who told me to “think happy thoughts,” as if my symptoms were generated because of a shortcoming in my thinking patterns. The list goes on and on. Person after person offered advice that was not only not helpful but was often hurtful. I know that they meant well. They wanted me to stop suffering, but their advice was rarely supportive. It usually pushed my already jacked-up nervous system into an even higher state of “protect”—fight, flight or freeze.
If you know someone who is in benzo withdrawal, here are the things not to say to them, and two things to always say.
- Go see a doctor. (We did. They caused this. They are often uneducated and will prescribe other drugs that are harmful to benzo withdrawal.)
- Go to detox or rehab. (Inpatient centers quickly taper or cold turkey people from benzos, often resulting in a severe withdrawal syndrome, and often more drugs are added.)
- Stop thinking about benzo withdrawal. (We wish we could, but its hell 24/and 7. It takes front and center stage, even though we don’t want it to.)
- Take a drink, calm down! (Alcohol works on the same receptors as benzos and therefore we must avoid alcohol.)
- Exercise more. (Sadly, many people in benzo withdrawal become exercise intolerant. Too much exercise can cause an increase in withdrawal symptoms.)
- Think happy thoughts. (Yeah, we wish we could. Unfortunately, the damage to the GABA receptors causes problems with our thoughts, making them negative and scary.)
- Go to work and forget about your troubles. (Work, or other obligations and responsibilities can overtax our fragile nervous system and make us worse,)
- See a therapist. (Most therapies don’t help us in benzo withdrawal, and some, like traditional talk therapy, can cause an increase in withdrawal symptoms.)
- See a psychiatrist. (Most psychiatrists are uneducated about the dangers of benzos and the withdrawal process and syndrome, even though they prescribe them!)
- It’s all in your head! (It’s in our brain and nervous system—real damage that manifests in real symptoms.)
(I’m sure you, dear benzo withdrawal survivor, have suffered through other responses from ignorant people who may mean well, but are hurtful.)
What are the two things one should always say to a person in benzo withdrawal? They are two simple questions” “What do you need?” “How can I help?”
Please don’t give unasked for advice to someone suffering in benzo withdrawal. Your advice is rarely needed and usually not heeded. Instead, give your time and attention, your compassionate listening ear, and ask what you can do to help. That is the most loving and healing response to anyone in benzo withdrawal. It is the most loving response to anyone, at any time, in any situation. Your thoughtfulness will be appreciated more than you know. It will help the healing process, and for that, all of us who have been touched by benzo withdrawal thank you, wholeheartedly.
Thank you for this Jenn. This morning a kind friend is gently urging me to attend a yoga session with her. I recognise her caring intention. She imagines (I imagine) that a meditative yoga session could only do good; if she could just motivate me out of my bed, she thinks I would enjoy the benefits and have a better day. That’s what happened last week. The gentle yoga turned out to be an over-exertion. The getting there and back was an effort that overwhelmed me. And most detrimental of all, was my dear friend’s inability to hear that the unsolicited solutions she was offering to me when I tried to explain my condition without actually feeling that I was heard, kinda crushed my soul and renewed my resolve to to return to the four posts of my bed and the four walls of my room. From where, maybe I can begin to consider the four cornerstones of health that you mention here on your website. I really have reached the point where I need to protect myself from the damage of misunderstanding. I am so incredibly lucky to have a partner who is so accepting and supportive and who sees (without any doubt) that this is something I am coping with, not something I am causing.
After my “ doctor” pulled me off of
klonopin after about 9 years. I told her that I’d go into withdrawal, she then curtly told me to “just go to a
psychiatrist or to detox. Nice…
Absolutely no accountability for
the hell I went through after I became “kindled”. Thanks, Doc for
your vast and lacking understanding. My life will never be the same. I feel like I’ve lost years.
I wish “horrific setbacks after complete healing” could be addressed. Only one person truly believes what I am going through. I’m currently in my 4th setback which is now 7 months long with absolutely no reprieve at all and I was previously completely healed for 10 months!!!!! I have been abandoned by my 3 adult children who say “It is all in your head…get over it” and abandoned by other family members as well and I am living alone. This setback is worse than my withdrawal in 2019. I feel like I’m never going to be me again. It is pure emotional hell!!!! My psychologist said to me last week, “Let’s hope next year’s setback won’t be as bad.” How sweet of him!!!!
Sorry you’re in a setback. They do eventually stop happening. Please take good care of yourself.
I am having a difficult time tapering, because I suffer withdrawal convulsions and they have progressed into extreme muscle contractions that shut down my breathing. It usually lasts until I can’t stand the lack of oxygen and then I am gasping for breath and have chest pain – probably from the anxiety of the experience. Along with the convulsing, often there is migraine pain and heightened senses. At one point I lost 28 pounds and had to force myself to eat a high calorie diet between convulsions . I have a good naturopath at the moment and she is very concerned about this. I am slowly decreasing 1ml at a time from a 100ml solution of 1mg. Clonazepam but it never seems to be slow enough. I have had to up dosage a few times when convulsions are very bad, and I know that kindles me and makes getting off harder, and it breaks my heart to have to do it.
I would be grateful to know of tricks/ways to restart my breathing sooner.
I’m so sorry your symptoms are so severe. I’m
Not a medical doctor so I’m unable to offer any suggestions. Please work closely with your doctor and ask what they suggest. I hope it gets better soon for you.
This to me is the worst going through this!! Sometimes I fee like if one more person gives me a suggestion I’m going to freak out..but yet I’m learning all the worrying I did all my life about what people think doesn’t matter anymore because people have no idea what your going through there to caught up in there own stuff..I’m finally to the point where I want to love myself and live and don’t care about all the negative stuff..I want to be well and be who God created me to be…you never meet a compasionet person who hasn’t been through hell and back..and this is no joke..you can do anything after this!!! We must keep going knowing We WILL HEAL!!! 😇❤️
Right now for me it’s the morning depression that I find so difficult. I wake up feeling completely without rest and my mind just tends to go toward despair. I try to stay in the moment and it helps some. I feel so much guilt and shame over my traumatic childhood. I spent years in therapy getting over this and now I feel as though I have regressed to where I was 35 years ago.
I misplace things so often. It’s so bad I get concerned that I may have dimetia. I really try to live a “normal” life and from the outside it may like I’m fine. People have no idea how exhausted I get. This taper has been so slow. I’ve been in Klonopin for 15-20 years. It’s taken me 20 months to go from 1 mg a day to .35 mgs per day.
There’s no turning back now. I’ll just take it as it comes.
I so deeply admire anyone who has the courage to take in this momentous task that was thrust upon us without our consent.
Hi Ray, I know exactly what you’re going through, I’m still in withdrawal from klonopin also.
It took me three years to taper off of it. It pretty much controlled my life, and sometimes still
does. But you’re doing great, just keep up the slower the better mentality. I’m also tapering
off of Valium, which does wonders for my withdrawals (being sarcastic). What kind of doctor
pulls someone off of klonopin (after 9 years), then pulls them off of valium after over three
years? Clearly, doctors do not understand what these potent drugs do to our nervous
system. You’ll reach your goal, it just takes longer than we want. Good Luck to you.
I have strong depersonalitation since first the dr gave me Clonazepam to stop taking xanax Which I was taking for 25 years I broke my leg and for one reason or another the medicine instead of Calming me got me very agitated,,I was doing pretty bad but it was clonasepam That gave me this side effect 2 mg I was taking I stop seeing this doctor and then i myself Started to get this drug from my body ,Obviously I did it wrong I didn’t know of dr Ashton,But anyway I took this Drug Little by little every week and then ,I stayed with 1250,For three months and now first I took out .6 in the last .6 I stopped taking it 9 days ago ,My symptoms are I don’t have joy pleasure or sadness, I feel Strange when I walk the streets that I’ve known for years seem to look different cero sex interest ,The food just doesn’t taste at all , i’ve read a lot and everybody says that this will go away eventually for the ones who are having this problem doesn’t seem real ,I can’t seem to laugh or cry at all I found this place ,And when I read you I found that you are a very human person and you gave me a little bit more of hope for that I thank you ,I know Xanax Withrow was bad,but Definitely clonazepam was the one who gave me this side effect.I have never heard of it it’s poison .I have to be very careful with the doctors say I have such a great regret of Taking this medicine