At the first hint that I was turning a corner in my recovery from BIND, benzodiazepine-induced neurological dysfunction, I taught a class at Standford Univeristy. I was determined to “get back to normal.” The problem was my nervous system wasn’t quite ready for “normal.” Teaching a course on how to increase your creative brainpower was too much. I had a terrible setback.
It’s normal to want to dive back into life as it once was, but it’s crucial to recognize that pacing oneself is vital in preventing a return of symptoms. In this blog, we’ll discuss the importance of taking it slow and provide a checklist of things to help ease back into life without overdoing it.
The Fragile Nature of the Nervous System
You may feel recovered or close to recovered, but your nervous system may still be fragile. It may not be fully healed, even though you may be symptom-free. We must recognize that the nervous system is a complex and delicate system that can be affected by various factors. Exertion, stress, alcohol, pot, medication, and supplements can trigger a return or increase in symptoms. And it’s not just the “big things” like returning to work too soon that can cause havoc; little things add up, too. Housekeeping, yard work, or babysitting your precious grandchildren can trigger symptoms.Benzo Withdrawal Symptoms It’s important to ease back into normal activity, one step at a time.
Pacing Yourself
Pacing oneself is important as we heal from BWD/BIND. This means practicing patience and acceptance. I know firsthand how strong the desire to get back to normal can be and how frustrating it is to have to “pay the price” for simple things such as running errands. I remember going to a poolside birthday party when I was close to recovery. A fantastic DJ played songs I danced to in my thirties, and my feet wouldn’t stop tapping as I sat and listened. Half the guests were already dancing under the stars, and I thought, “Why not? What can it hurt? It’s just dancing!” I danced and danced and danced, feeling the most alive I’d felt in years. I drove home with a silly grin plastered across my face. I slept soundly that night. I woke the next morning feeling horrible and stayed in bed for two days. My body wasn’t ready for all the excitement and exertion. Had I practiced patience, I would have waited for the next party, or even the one after that, to let loose on the dance floor. Or, I would have danced to a song and sat back down instead of gyrating most of the night. It’s hard, I know, to be patient. Accepting that we aren’t ready to engage in life as we did pre-benzo damage can be equally hard.
Lower Expectations
One of the things I learned in AA was that having expectations was a quick way to gather resentment and pick up a drink. It’s true. When we expect something, and it doesn’t come to pass, we feel robbed; the universe got it wrong and didn’t give us what we were due. For me, expectations are like playing God; I want to be in control. Learning to let go was a decisive step in keeping my sobriety (12 years and counting!). Lowering our expectations and letting go of what we think should or shouldn’t happen helps us to accept things as they are. We no longer have to fight our circumstances.
Knowing When
My clients ask me all the time.”How will I know when I can…” They want to know about returning to work, school, having a drink, dating, etc. There isn’t a black-and-white or one-size-fits-all answer. You may *think* you know you’re ready, but your nervous system might know otherwise. The best thing to do is to take baby steps back into the world. Do a little at a time. Rest. Reflect. Ask yourself how you feel. As with most things BWD/BIND, test and learn. And give yourself lots of room to course-correct. Be ready to practice self-compassion and grace; you’ll probably make some mistakes as you re-enter “normal life.” That’s okay. Rest and try again when you are able. Just because you can’t return to normal today doesn’t mean you won’t return to normal one day.
Explaining To Others
It’s part of what makes BWD/BIND exhausting— having to explain your limitations to others. Perhaps you could go to dinner one night, but now it’s too much. People struggle to understand why we gain ground and then lose it. (It’s a mystery to us, too!) But it’s important to be true to yourself and your boundaries. Just because you could pick up the kids, go grocery shopping, and cook dinner a few nights in a row doesn’t mean you are ready to go back to work full-time as your spouse insists you are. Getting over BIND is not the same as getting over the flu. Please do your best to explain that diving back into life too soon can set you back, and you’ve worked incredibly hard to get to where you are now, and it’s not worth sabotaging that. (Share this blog post if need be.)
Managing Fear
As we return to normal life, we may fear bringing on a wave or a setback. We may worry that every little thing we do will trigger an avalanche of symptoms. This is a common reaction. We’ve suffered for so long, and the light at the end of the tunnel is so bright and beautiful, but those last few steps can be fraught with trepidation. It’s best to observe the fear (instead of instantly believing it) and know that it is part of the process. Do your best to be logical by checking in with your body (and mind) and determining how you are doing. Don’t let fear keep you from moving forward at an appropriate pace.
Listen to Your Body
As you ease back into life after benzo withdrawal/BIND, listening to your body’s signals is crucial. If you feel tired, overwhelmed, or have an uptick or slight return of symptoms, take it as a sign that you need to slow down and give your nervous system more time to recover. Fatigue was the first sign I was overdoing it when I had my second setback. I was so determined to “be normal” that I pushed and pushed and pushed until l pushed myself back into being bedridden again. (I was a very slow learner back then!) Remember, it’s okay to take breaks and prioritize self-care. Recovery is not a linear process, and everyone’s journey will be unique. By paying attention to your body’s signals and needs, you’ll be better equipped to navigate the ups and downs of the healing process.
Over-Achiever?
Are you an over-achiever? We aren’t driven to achieve because we think we are better than others; we are driven because, deep down, we fear we are less than others. Many of us have trauma in our backgrounds. If you are an over-achiever, pacing yourself as you return to normal life may be more challenging. Understanding and embracing the fourth cornerstone of well-being, love well, is a powerful tool for healing those dark places that drive us. The fourth cornerstone helped me reduce my frantic urges to go, go, go. I’m much better (but not perfect!) at being kind and gentle with myself, loving all of me, warts and all!
The Importance of Self-Compassion
Self-compassion is essential during the recovery process (and beyond!). It’s normal to feel frustrated or discouraged sometimes, but remember that healing and returning to the world takes time. Be kind to yourself. By cultivating self-compassion, you’ll be better equipped to handle the challenges that come your way. You’ll be healthier, happier, and far more likely to ultimately achieve all the things you’ve had to put off. Self-compassion is a super-hero that lifts us to our highest potential.
Easing Back into Life Post-Benzo Withdrawal/BIND
Here is a list of things to help you ease back into life after benzo withdrawal/BIND. Remember to pace yourself. If any negative thoughts or feelings arise about being patient, observe them and let them go. Reframe negativity with gratitude. Practice curiosity.
- Establish a daily routine: Creating a daily routine can provide structure and stability. Include essential activities such as self-care while also incorporating time for relaxation and enjoyable activities.
- Gentle exercise: Start with low-intensity exercises, such as walking, stretching, or swimming, to help improve your physical and mental well-being. Gradually increase the intensity and duration of your workouts as your body allows.
- Mindfulness and relaxation techniques: Incorporate mindfulness practices, such as meditation or deep breathing exercises, into your daily routine to help manage stress and anxiety.
- Engage in hobbies: Rediscover old hobbies or explore new ones that bring you joy and help you focus on something other than withdrawal/BIND.
- Connect with supportive friends and family: Social connections can be incredibly healing during recovery. Reach out to loved ones for support and encouragement.
- Limit exposure to stressors: Identify situations or environments that may trigger anxiety or other symptoms and minimize exposure to these stressors whenever possible.
- Prioritize sleep: Establish a regular sleep schedule and practice good sleep hygiene, even if your sleep has not yet returned to normal.
- Break tasks into smaller steps: Break larger tasks into smaller, manageable steps to avoid feeling overwhelmed.
- Set realistic goals: Establish achievable short-term and long-term goals and celebrate your progress along the way.
- Lower expectations to lessen resentment and negativity and encourage patience and acceptance.
- Have clear boundaries. Teach/show others what they are.
- Love well: Embrace the fourth cornerstone of well-being to heal the need to over-achieve.
- Cultivate Self-Compassion for living your highest and best.
Conclusion
Easing back into life after BWD/BIND can be a challenging process, but it’s important to remember that the nervous system is fragile and requires time to heal. You can gradually ease back into life without overdoing it by pacing yourself, listening to your body’s signals, and following the checklist provided. Practice patience and self-compassion throughout your recovery journey, and don’t hesitate to seek benzo-wise professional help if needed. Remember, you’re not alone in this process; in time, you’ll be back to even better than normal!
Add Your Voice
Leave a comment about your experiences, thoughts, and feelings about getting back to normal after BWD/BIND. Your story helps others. We appreciate your participation.
I tried to get back to normal about 3 months post taper. I was moh in my sister’s wedding and soon after got pregnant (bc we wanted to have another baby!). I soon lost that pregnancy and got Covid which turned into long covid. Backfire on normal???! Absolutely. Unfortunately I wasn’t aware I had BIND, so I got on more medication, thinking I was *that* anxious. I did suffer from a very sick winter last year and those medications were a support. This winter was much better and I decided to pick up 2 part time jobs AND start tapering 1 of 2 meds. Ha! Again, I didn’t know I had BIND. I handled everything incredibly well for several weeks but as I got lower on my taper and continued week after week with a much fuller life, I hit rock bottom. I had to pause with my jobs and taper. The house went into disarray. I can’t do it all, I realize!
Thank God, I found you, Jennifer, and through friends who’ve also been on this journey, I finally realized, only a couple weeks ago, that I have BIND! It makes so much sense now!!! It has been such a helpful finding and now I know better how to care for myself.
I’ve cut back on how much part time work I do, but I haven’t cut it out completely (it gives me a wonderful sense of purpose!!), and I am inching along on my taper at a snail’s pace. I’m learning the hard way what my nervous system needs but at least I’m learning. I’m soon 38 months off benzos and finally accepting that I have BIND and I WILL heal but to take extra care until then.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Dr Jenn, you have been a light for me on this very upsetting journey. You show me my experience is normal and give me hope that I’ll someday be better than ever.
Hi Dr. Leigh,
I went through withdrawal from Klonopin and did not experience BIND. My psychiatrist did not wean me off the medication and I experienced muscle and nerve pain. I signed up for an exercise class at a local junior college and saw my physical therapist to help me deal with it. For weeks,
I woke up at 3 am and my mouth felt like it was plastered shut. I was blessed to be working on a psychiatric unit. Facilitating groups and talking to a mental health counselor on the unit helped me get through the storm.
I am interested in knowing the condition for which you were being treated and the medication you were taking.
I would also like to know how BIND causes neurological dysfunction? Does it affect the neurotransmitters (i.e., GABA)?
How does the neurological dysfunction affect the physical body (i.e., dysphasia)?
Thank you for sharing. It’s an interesting topic. Have a blessed day.
Kind regards,
Suzanne
That was so well written Jenn, now if we can only practice it! It’s such a “self awareness” journey, one that’s difficult to relinquish if you weren’t brought up to be part of that culture. Albeit, “ thinking of oneself before others.””
However; it’s imperative at this point.
Thank you, as always, for putting it into words of wisdom!
I was encouraged to extend the concept of “loving well” to myself through this journey. I always just thought of it in regards to loving others. Unfortunately some people in my life do not love me well and I have spent many years trying to love them well. Suffering through psychiatric med. withdrawal has forced me to keep these people at a distance in order to survive. Perhaps my distancing from them is one way that I can show love to myself.
Hi Dr Jen:
Thank you for such a timely and thoughtful post. I feel like I am beginning to turn the corner, but am feeling a bit blind on what I am able to tolerate each day. It is definitely a trial and error process right now and unfortunately the errors are quite difficult to tolerate physically and mentally. Frustration at not being ready to enjoy things the way I want to is probably my over-riding emotion right now. Any further ideas on how to proceed from here would be gratefully welcomed. Warm Regards, Bill
Some of the best tools are patience, acceptance, distraction, and gratitude. They help in almost every situation. I’d do my best to live them every day, in big doses. 🙂
You will get your life back and be able to do what you want to do. Time is a great healer, along with the four cornerstones of well-being!
Boundaries are a good thing!
You are welcome. Self-care is imperative. The emotional growth we experience is immeasurable. Keep healing!
I blogged about BIND just a little while ago. It may answer your questions. I was put on Clonazepam, 2 mg, when I was in my mid-thirties for anxiety/panic. I don’t have either of those anymore.
You are most welcome! Keep healing. You will be better than ever one day!
Hi Dr Jen
I’m 63 months of 10 months of Ativan use, ( two weeks use at 2mg, 9 months tapering)
Is it normal to be so reactive to sugar at this late stage. Stress and sugar, throw me back into waves of headaches, bad dreams and anxiety.. I can’t believe I’m still so vulnerable at this stage.. is this normal?
I am sorry to hear you are still reactive. Yes, some people can have some remaining issues even at 63 months out. It’s always good to make sure you are eating to heal your gut microbiome, as it can play a role in symptoms. Reducing stress is a good idea for everyone these days. I’m sure you’re doing your best with that. Keep the faith. Things will improve. (Always get checked out if you are worried something else may be at play.)
Sending you healing energy.
Thank you for thisxreminder, I tend to long do deeply for how I used to be that I jump ahead only to fall backward. Thank you your message came at just the right time as I was feeling bad about not being able to do more than walk since we moved to Tennessee.
Thank you, love sharon
Bristol tennessee
Acceptance and patience help us cope. You’ll get back to normal life and be happier than ever! Keep healing.
Hi Dr Jenn,
Thanks for this blog on getting back to normal. It’s very helpful and reassuring.
After 14 months off Valium I was starting to feel much better. So much better that I overdid things. At the time, it didn’t seem unreasonable to increase from daily walking exercise to running, to drive a demanding friend on a 6hr journey and back again,to take my 94 year old mother to see Moulin Rouge (eeek !) , to attend attend a school reunion, to take my 13 year old twins on a holiday,to volunteer at the local drug and alcohol group and to battle with a psychiatrist who was keen for me to join his psychotherapy project.
I am now finding my way through a frightening relapse. Insomnia and anxiety that surges from one “concern” to another, day and night are the worst. I thought I was done with this !
Initially I tried to work my way through. The galloping anxiety made me feel that I should do more to find a solution. After talking to you via zoom and now reading your blog I understand that my nervous system needs to rest, to do less, not more.
I printed your information and gave if to my partner to read as I am so,so, so tired of trying to explain the withdrawal situation. Especially now that it’s gone on so long. It was a huge help. Having him understand that I can’t rush from one task to another at the moment has taken the pressure off and given me a chance to start healing.
Thank you !
Sarah
I am sorry to hear that you had a wave of symptoms, but it’s not uncommon for that to happen when we jump back into life too quickly. I am glad that you will rest now. That helps our nervous system settle down. Do all you can to invite your nervous system to move into the ventral vagal reaction. Safety is the most important aspect of that. I appreciate you sharing your story with you. Keep healing.