Well, my dog adventure came to an end late this morning. I was sad to see him go, but grateful for the experience.
I was up most of the night, not because the dog was any trouble, but because my CNS was overly revved up from the excitement. I can’t wait for the day when I am a normal person with a normal nervous system. Even happiness is too much for me. My whole body tingles and burns.
But back to the dog story…
I packed him up in my car late this morning and drove him over to the SPCA. He looked like a Shetland pony getting into the back seat. The dog was huge! I rolled down the window for him so he could hang his head out. I caught glimpses of him in my mirror: his bushy fur flying about, his eyes wide. I swear he looked like he was smiling. He looked totally free. Totally immersed in his perfection. I felt a twinge of jealousy. I can’t remember the last time I felt free, completely happy. Even now when I have windows, there is a part of me that is watching and waiting for the beast to reappear. And it does.
When we arrived at the SPCA, the dog sauntered towards the door as if he knew the place. Hmmmm. I bet I was not the first one to have found him. Sure enough, when the microchip wand passes over him, the clerk knew who he was. “His name is Juno. He’s a repeat offender,” she said. Seems Mr. Big Guy has a habit of scooting out for a night on the town. Hey, he’s a husky. It’s what they do.
I drove him back to his rightful owners. When we got inside of the gate, I could see he was happy to be home. I spoke briefly to his owners, and returned home. I was so tired, I took a nap. I woke to increased tingles, burning, pain etc. Sigh. It seems so unfair to have an illness that makes you “pay” for resting. It seems unfair to have an illness from a man made pill that is supposed to help, not harm.
After my nap I contacted one of the local dog rescue organizations. I told them I would be a short term foster for a dog saved from a Kill Shelter. I pick up the new pooch on Friday. If I can handle a miniature pony in my little place, I can handle a normal dog. Or so I like to think. Time will tell.
Thank you Juno for crawling into the car window. Taking care of you was just the push I needed to decide to be a foster mom to a dog whose time is almost up at a shelter. I am sure the dog will be scared and stressed. Boy, I know how he feels.
Sleep tight Juno! Sleep tight my new rescue dog. I will be there to whisk you away from that bad place on Friday.
I am not healed, but I realize how far I have come. I can think about having a dog! A few years ago, it felt like I couldn’t even spell dog.
Tomorrow I promise to pick up and clean and get ready for my new companion. Right now I am going to let my heavy eyes shut close and dream of better days ahead.
Jenn,
Thanks again for your posts. They help pass a few minutes away of the daily
minute by minute torture of coming off of ths drug! I know yesterday was really
really rough but you sound at least alittle like today you realize how far you’ve
come. Thanks for the humor too!! The fact that you might actually be able to
HAVE a dog where 2 yrs ago could not even SPELL dog!!!
Sue in NJ
“It seems so unfair to have an illness that makes you ‘pay’ for resting.” I could’ve written this. I often feel this way.
Good luck with your future foster dog. 🙂