I joined a private FB group for people over three years out and still hurting. I found this posted there: http://www.bendbulletin.com/home/2119922-151/benzodiazepines-treat-anxiety-cause-long-term-problems#
I am doing what I have always done to ride this beast. I am gardening. I am planted about 30 new annuals to fill in where the spring bloomers had come and gone. I am also installing a prayer tree. I’ll snap a pix and send when it’s up and ready.
Here’s a shot of hope: I had an amazing window yesterday that lasted a few hours. No sx, except tinnitus. It was heaven. At 10 pm, it came to a crashing close with severe tingles, burning, etc followed by a very nasty night of my typical benzo crap. But, that window was heaven!
On another note: you may have noticed I have scaled back the pages on this site.
I am NOT taking on any new clients to coach on coping skills. I am practicing extreme self-care right now and not over extending myself. Until this wave let’s up, I am keeping my life as simple as possible. I am sure you understand. (I still read emails however and comments posted here.) I encourage everyone to find an “anchor,” something they can do that helps them distract. For me, it has been gardening. I know it kept me alive the first year off.
If someone had told me I would get hit with the mother of all waves this far out, I would have laughed in their face. The day I taught at Stanford, I really thought I was almost at the finish line. I was wrong. Still have a way to go. No idea when this will come to an end, but I do know it will eventually end. My hunch is I have another year(s) until everything calms down.
Keep fighting the good fight. I will too. One day, life will be sweet again. It was for a while, before this wave hit. I felt full of wonder and awe. I am sure it will return, when the time is right.
I love you all so much.
Jennifer
This is temporary…remember that…it will end…but still so hard to get through…hang in there…this 3rd year coming up is when many people do lots of healing…you will too.
Hang on Jenn. We love you too.
Kim
Thank you for posting that article!! Love it. My s/x are not as bad as everybody else. I was on the meds a very short time (9 months total including taper). I live in the 95% zone with a monthly wave and some ‘spiking’ s/x here and there. When I’m comforting friends with severe symptoms I look for others like them who are persevering.
If your wave started on the 11th your roughly 2 weeks into the wave. It must and will let up soon. Thank you for leading the way for many and reaching back to bring others forward.
I appreciate your sharing this article although it was very sobering and a bit discouraging. It is so hard to think that withdrawal may never come to a complete end. I am trying to hang on for dear life and know it has been the most difficult thing we have all had to endure. We are really a very courageous group. I just have to remind myself often of that especially when I feel so weak. I have also been hit with a wave for the past several weeks. It certainly gives us a greater empathy for each other. My thoughts continue to be with you, Dr. Jenn, and I appreciate that you continue to support all of us out here even though you don’t feel well yourself. May God bless you greatly and hopefully the symptoms will disappear as quickly as they came over you.
Jenn, hold onto that amazing window. There’s more where that came from. Complete healing may be right around the corner.
One step at a time, one step at a time.
Hi Jen, as you said before, the benzo beast will be kicked to the curb and die eventually. This is his last attempt trying to show who the boss is. You and all of us will win at the end. You have inspired me for so long during my most difficult struggles. I am finally emerging from this dark tunnel, even though very slowly. Thank you for your courage and strength that gives me hope.
Ed C