I have been seriously considering creating a benzo survivor summit to be held summer 2014 in either San Fran or Aspen. If it were a perfect world Bliss Johns, Matt Sammet, Geraldine Burns and others who blazed the trail for us would attend. We would have time to share our stories, but most importantly our hope and strength for the future. We would help each other find out way in the world, no matter where we are on the recovery path.

There would be music, meditation, hiking, playing, laughing, art, cooking, community. For one glorious weekend of love and friendship.

We belong to an amazing family: benzo survivors. I want to one day honor our accomplishments, honor our bond with life and with each other.

Although benzo withdrawal has been the most hellish experience I ever hope to have to cope with, it has given me so much. Many friends, a deeper awareness of who I truly am at my core, a deeper connection with LIFE, and with god as I understand god. I lost all material wealth but I found a deep richness in life I had always yearned for. A richness that money can’t buy, a pill can’t create or a drink give me.  I am closing in on 24 months off. I’ll post an update then. The mental has gotten amazingly better in the past 72 hours. I am so grateful!!

If anyone has an interest in fleshing out the idea of a survivor summit, please contact me with ideas or suggestions. I welcome the opportunity to co create the event if there is enough interest in one.

Know that you will heal. I had given up hope months ago, but I am being rewarded with good mental days now. The anxiety is lifting, as well as the depression. I continue to garden, and continue to enjoy the company of all the people who find their way into my garden. I am grateful for my little yard! I may have to move next month if the new owner of my building wants the old tenants out.  I will be sad, as I have no idea where I would go. But I trust that no matter what happens, I will be taken care of, one way or the other. I have learned to trust, and to let go of the need to control. That gives me an enormous space in my heart for happiness. Acceptance is everything in withdrawal and in life. When you can accept life on life’s terms, you will be so much happier.

I hope everyone is holding on. I know it’s a tiring journey. A hard journey. But it is a journey that comes to an end. One day. One step at a time.

I wish you all love, health and happiness. Thank you all for being there with me through this. Thanks for the emails. Keep reaching out when you need help. We are in this together.