A few people have told me recently that they crashed a burned a few months out from their cold turkey, or last dose. I appreciate hearing their story and I know they are concerned that I may get worse and crash like they did. And I might, who knows? But I don’t let other people’s story ruin my day. Their story is their story. It doesn’t have to be my story.
I am always curious why we attach more easily to the negative. Or at least get more emotional charge from it. I have had other people tell me they healed in a few short months, or at the least, they continued to get better. Why is it that those stories are not as “sticky” as the stories of doom and gloom?
It is because our brain works so very hard to keep us alive! It listens to every possible threat. And it does its best to help us avoid anything that will possible be painful. That is how humans have survived. It only took one person eating a poisonous plant to teach the entire tribe that it was a bad idea to eat it. We learn from others mistakes, is my point. But, in benzo withdrawal, we need to keep open to the idea that other people’s “misadventures” will not necessarily be our own.
What to do then, when people tell you their horror story, or you read it on a forum post? Do some strong self-talking as soon as possible! Tell yourself ( I do this out loud!) that your fear region of the brain has been activated but you want your rational region of the brain to kick in. So talk through all the rational reasons why your story can and will be different. Talk to yourself for as long as you need to, If you feel the icy hand of fear creeping back into your thoughts or feelings, stop and do some more self-talking. I have to do this a lot while I navigate the emotions withdrawal creates. Who cares? Just do it! You will feel better. Eventually, you won’t have to do this as often.
Our thoughts create our reality. Think about it. Things just ARE. They have no good or bad to them. WE project that onto them. Things only have the meaning you give them. For example I am fearful of flying. I hate it. But my friend has an aerobatic plane and does rolls and stalls FOR FUN! A plane is just a plane. I project my fear onto it, he projects his feel good adrenaline rush onto it.
As for your thoughts, they are what they are too. Just like the plane. They just are. You get to decide if they are “scary” or “bad” or “crazy.” I’ve been revisiting some of my old trauma while in withdrawals and I don’t give much credence to my thoughts. Meaning, I don’t get my panties in a bunch worrying about what they “mean.” They just are. I think them, feel them and move on.
So, which story are you going to believe about your withdrawal and recovery? Are you going to believe that it’s all doom and gloom? Or will you take what comes in stride and cope? And not worry about what is headed at you tomorrow. That’s important. You can and will cope with tomorrow when it arrives.
Here is to believing the story you want to believe.
Dr. Jenn
It is human nature to expect the worst , I nearly said “Sadly it is human nature to expect the worst” We often expect the worst to cover ourselves so we can say ” well what more can you expect” and then if things turn out better it is a nice surprise. Sometimes I think we love to wallow in angst and agony.
Everyone seems to need to out the next in every part of life. Who of us that has ever been pregnant, has not been scared whittless by the horror stories other women delight in regaling you with with especially if they find out it is your first.
It is a protection, the worst you expect the more the relief when it is not so bad and if it is bad well you expected it didn’t you.
Some people just love to wallow in how bad they have had things and they love to tell others.
What will be, will be but attitude is key so be brave you can do it and if you keep using your tried and tested coping tactics you will be fine. Personally I wish you well and hope that you do not crash and burn…now that is apt turn of phrase as to crash and burn you need to be shot down . So keep dodging the doom and gloomers and hang on to the positive….
I did not crash and burn so why should you?? No reason at
all. Good luck and God bless.
Thank you for the well wishes. I expect to be 100% healed one day. I am NOT expecting the wheels to come off the wagon at month 3, 5 or 6 as some keep telling me will happen. The worst is behind me I suspect. I can not imagine what could put me back in the state I was in the first two weeks.
Glad you did not crash and burn. All the very best to you!
Dr. Jenn
Oh how hopeful I was!!
I spent 6 weeks at Sierra Tuscon to help me get through my five month wave.
My hardest times were months 5-12.
That may not be your story at all, so don’ worry you will have the same pattern.
I had much to heal from before benzos. And it all thawed out.
I am glad to be 13 months out.
So very glad.