When I came home from the hospital after my cold-turkey from Clonazepam I had taken as prescribed, I was weak, in severe pain, and plagued by a laundry list of withdrawal symptoms. I worried a great deal about the future. I’d ask myself “What if …(fill in with anything negative)…” over and over again. As I navigated my way deeper and deeper through benzo withdrawal, I learned that asking “What if?” Is a recipe for creating needless anxiety.
When we worry about the future we kick our limbic system — the flight/fight/freeze region of the brain — into action and we experience anxiety or even panic. We miss the opportunity to experience the good that is happening all around us, right here and now. This present moment — the IS of our lives — is the only time we can connect to that which is greater than ourselves (God, Higher Power, Source, call it what you like). We can’t connect in the past for it’s gone, nor can we connect in the future, for it has yet to arrive. When we worry about “What if,” we shut the door to all that is good, all that is sacred, magical, and wonderful in this present moment. “IF” is in the future for it has not yet happened. “Is” is in this present moment, it’s taking place right now. Don’t miss it by time traveling into the future. Stay right here. right now. Feel this breath. This heartbeat. You are alive! You are healing. Celebrate this moment.
Dear Jennifer,
Another insightful sharing from you. LOVE IT ! I am a BIG future tripper ! I read Eckhart Tolle’s book THE POWER OF NOW ( I highly recommend it ) ten years ago. Having gained his insight and wisdom, the knowledge has aided in calming my over worry, over thinking state of being. My anxiety has been in overdrive with my Benzo damage, The Power of Now, being present in the NOW moment is very healing.
With Love & Gratitude, Jerry
Beautiful!! Thanks so much for the reminder, Jennifer 💜
Jerry, I too find great richness in the teachings of E. Tolle As I heal in this “benzo school “, I notice that I respond to verbal cues. Listening to Tolle’s work helps me to remember who I really am beyond these symptoms. For that, I feel deeply grateful 🙂
To your journey 🌼
Hi Jenn, Thank you for sharing your experience with me. I feel I am definitely getting better at living in the moment, as I have even been learning new hobbies whilst in recovery. You are so right that we need to live and love every moment we are alive, and I believe the living and loving will grow stronger, the more I recover. I asked myself many times “what if” but it always results in negativity, which is definitely not what I need in recovery.
Love and Hugs across the Pond
Jackie
Edinburgh
Love and healing prayers to all
Can someone explain why is not recommended to take magnesium supplements, valerian and Gaba when tapering-off Ativan? I have been taking magnesium since before I started taking Ativan and Remeron. I started at 4mg Ativan + 15mg Remeron for insomnia. I had no problems of anxiety or depression before taking the meds except feeling down because of the insomnia. I have been on both meds since April 21 but started to taper down from Ativan 3 weeks into it when I read all the online stories about withdrawal. Although I started with 4mg of Ativan at the hospital, they dropped it to 3mg the next day and 3 days later to 2mg. I has given prescriptions for 2mg Ativan and 15mg Remeron since. Currently, I am down to .25mg every 2 and 3 days. My last dose was 4 days ago. The only thing I noticed was a HUGE headache after the second 2 day of not taking it for two days but only at night when trying to sleep. I should mention that for about 2 weeks now I have been taking Power to Sleep PM that has Calcium, Magnesium, Omega 3 oils, Valerian, Hops, Lemon Balm, Passionflower, Gaba, L-Theanine, and melatonin to help me sleep. I have also started to wean-off Remeron and I am down to 6mg. I am not sleeping great but I am able to get by ( I wake up so many times during the night). I think that the at lower dose of Ativan was creating the opposite effect in which it was keeping me awake instead of helping me sleep. I have seen websites that recommend not to take magnesium and valerian but I haven’t noticed anything other than taking the PTS pm 1 hour before bed really relaxes me.
Jennifer,
The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle is an excellent book. A must read. I am 11 months off and when I am in a window I am close to 100% and boy do I love life. Waves come at random times and are becoming less debilitating over time. I can still do things during waves but they are a nuisance. Sleep is almost back to normal. Whomever is reading this please keeping going. It does get better as time goes on. We are all different so healing time is different for everyone. Again please keep going.
Thanks for sharing Jennifer. I went through many month about 5 years ago feeling that time was dragging as if it was stuck in mud. Needless to say I was in cold turkey of being off not only a powerful MAOi, but also Alprazolam. At that time I was still naive that the benzos had such terrible withdrawals symptoms and was attributing all and sundry of the cluster symptoms purely onto the MAOi WD. I also discovered that going out into the garden was very therapeutic. Although unlike yourself – I was pulling a jungle of weeds out rather than actually planting. I began to feel much better during and after this task. So much so that it became less of a necessary task and more of a necessary medicine.
As you mentioned the way many people spend time thinking ‘what if’, then you used the term ‘time travel’ I began to think about the Sci Fi movies that I’ve watched over the years that involve time travel. Sure enough, at the basic premise is the ‘what if’ question being explored. Maybe this is why I love time travel move so much. They give a way for us to imagine ‘what if’ ?