If you’ve read my posts about coping with benzo withdrawal symptoms you know I am a big proponent of distraction. It helps us take our minds off of our suffering, even if only for a few minutes. If you’ve read about my journey through withdrawal, you also know I am a big fan of gardening as a means to distract. Distraction can be so much more than just a place to focus one’s attention. It can be a way to gain purpose and perspective while healing from benzo withdrawal. It can be the secret passage to a more fulfilling life, even in the midst of our benzo withdrawal symptoms.
First, let me explain that one of the major tenants of Alcoholics Anonymous (and all other Twelve Step programs) is service to others. Why? Because focusing on others takes us away from our self—our self-pity, self-loathing, self-absorption and the like which are usually triggers to drink (or engage in other addictive behavior). When we aren’t focused on ourselves, we are more able to see the real beauty and meaning in life. Stepping outside of our self-centered egos gives us the opportunity to grow and mature. It’s the same in benzo withdrawal. When we distract with an activity that is in service to someone or something other than ourselves, we are more apt and able to see the beauty in life and to grow and heal. Of course, most of us experiencing benzo withdrawal are not addicts, but being of service to other living things helps us step outside of our suffering and embrace life a bit deeper, even in the depths of our benzo withdrawal despair. Sure, it’s good to distract with mindful things such as puzzles and coloring books—nothing wrong with those or similar things—but there is a “superpower” in doing things that ultimately help other living things.
Taking care of the flowers in my garden gave me a purpose to wake up each morning and face the ice-cold terror that coursed its way through my veins. It gave me a reason to breathe through my pain, double vision, burning skin, ear ringing, twitching, boaty feelings, tingling, dizziness, weakness, intrusive thoughts, obsessions, and all the other horrible symptoms that came with my cold-turkey from my prescribed use of clonazepam. My garden was more than just a distraction; it was the backbone of my healing. It taught me lessons about love, community, forgiveness, innovation, determination, and perseverance. I would have never learned those lessons had I only colored in my coloring books or solved my cryptogram word puzzles.
That’s the message of this post. I hope that those of you who are physically able will find ways to distract that are in service to other living things. Truly, there is something sacred in being of service to life. That is how you take distraction to a new, deeper level. And in my humble opinion, it is how you heal on a deeper level because we find purpose and fulfillment, which nourishes and grows our souls.
I’d love to hear from you as to what you do that takes distraction to a deeper level. Feel free to share your comments. For those of who are physically unable to engage in activities, please know that you won’t be bedbound or couchbound forever—your day of healing is coming. You will be able to get out and do things again. Benzo withdrawal is a temporary condition, I assure you.
Jen, 6 months after my CT from Klonopin my daughter gave birth to twins. I could barely walk or feed myself, hadn’t drove and was severely debilitated. She said, “mom, I need you. ” I drove to her home and sat on the couch and proceeded to give a bottle to one baby then to the next. That “purpose” and joy of helping her, getting totally out of myself despite the pain and fear, and creating a forever bond with my granddaughters has been the “backbone” of my journey of healing and recovery. I could barely hold a baby bottle then. Today, they’re 3 years old! On my “recovery calendar” I’ve drove over 322 days since their birth to be there for my girls! With each of their milestones, I have grown and healed. They have been a gift in my recovery and a beautiful distraction. Like my girls now say, “Our Nana love us. ” 🙏🏼🙂 Thank you for this very important post!!!
Hello Jen. I’ve mentioned before that my dear dad died 4 months after I took my last dose of temazepam. I felt so ill and yet somehow I had managed to nurse him through the last days of his life and look after my mom who has dementia. It was a massive distraction. Nobody know how sick I was… oddly , it helped to fake it.I think it all put my recovery on hold,BUT miraculously it didn’t set me back…God is so gracious and kind. Lots of love …and thanks for your post. Oh and my intentional distractions are my grandaughters. ..with boundaries!!! Home cooking. Stock pots. kefir and I must start making sourdough bread again…prefer carb free just now.
Dr. Jen, I’m writing to ask about our dear mutual friend, Don Killian. He was so kind to keep his viewers updated on your progress during your setback. Now that he is dealing with his own setback, would it be possible for you to let us know how he is getting along? I pray for him daily, but am frustrated not to have any way of know how he is faring. Would it be possible for you to ask him for his permission for you to give an update on his status? I bet many others would love to know!! Thanks in advance
I had a baby last may, he’s almost a year old. My withdrawal started after he was born when my doctor tried to cross taper me over to a different antidepressant too quickly and then the @*# began! I tried to reinstate but I had a severe reaction. I also have a 7 year old and 4 year old. Having children in this journey has been the worst and best part of it all! They truly are my distractions. I do love getting Outdoors. There’s something about the Sun and healing. I love working on my yard and taking walks, small walks when I can (when my head swelling and dizziness can handle it). I do find it hard though sometimes to get into a good distraction with restlessness and Tremors. I’m still trying to find what works. I have taken up a little bit of watercolor painting which also helps.
I am new here. Can you please tell me how can I post a comment on a topic on weight loss posted in January 2018? Many thanks.
Sara, I am in close contact with Don. He is taking good care of himself and I know that his setback will resolve. I know he appreciates your prayers and I will let him know that people are asking about him on my site. Thank you for asking about him.
Simply find the post and leave a comment at the end of it. Firstime posters must be approved.
Thank you, Jen. The post I referred to earlier is from January 2017 (not 2018 as mentioned in my previous message), so it seems that it is not open for comments now, as I don’t see any place for comments on that post.
I was on .25 mg of Clonazepam for nearly 2 year and 4 months, including a tapering of 6+ months. My last dose was on 17 September 2017. I guess my shortness of breath was wrongly diagnosed as anxiety, which I later understood could have been my allergy to coconut (I used to drink 1 tbsp EVCO daily). It also happened 2 weeks after my menopause (which I didn’t know then that it would be my last period), so guess the hormones had a role to play too.
During the 4th month of tapering I lost 10 lbs (the whole 10 lbs was lost during July 2017) and I stayed on that same weight of 121.6 lbs for the next 9 months till mid-April 2018, which was 7 months into recovery from withdrawal. From mid-April to today, the 8th month of recovery, I have lost a further 2 lbs., now weighing 119.6 lbs and am worried. During the last 2 years I have become gluten free and dairy free and barely eat any fried food and dessert, so not able to put the weight back on is understandable, but losing further weight is worrisome. My appetite is normal.
My question is – Is it normal to lose further weight 8th month into recovery? Has anyone else experienced it? I know each person is different, but it would make me less worried if anyone else has faced the same situation. I live on a Caribbean islands where we don’t have any Functional Medicine physicians and the normal doctors just don’t accept that withdrawal and recovery can have symptoms.
Jen, if this comment is not appropriate on this post, can you please post it in the right place, where more readers can respond. I, of course, look forward to your views and experience on this as well.
Thank you so much in advance.
When I was going through really bad withdrawal my mom was sick and I had to do all the holidays and my dad was moving as he couldn’t go up steeps any more.. It did have to fake it like nicola said because no one knew how bad it really was and no one understood nor did I at the time.wow.!!!.some of that is a blur but i thought of it for a long time as crazy how did I do that so sick..but now I see how it got me through not just thinking about me..but helping them..it’s so true get out of your head which isn’t easy in withdrawel but your right it really helps ..❤️
if its a temporary condition why am still in hell 4 years after my last dose ? why i am living in derealization 24/7 ? why i still have akathisia 4 years later and feeling inner terror and severe anxiety agoraphobia while there is no danger ? why my symptoms just morphed years after years into news neurological illness ? i know have fibromyalgia and severe muscle pain and cramps i never had before. why am i still chemicaly depressed and suicidal 4 years later while i was a happy personn before ?
why i have a constant loud tinnitus in my head and electricity feeling in my whole body 4 years later ?
if its only a temporary condition why did you had a setback 6 years later line monica cassani too 7 years later just after a plane trip ?
why i see every other people improve and am still like that 46 month later ?
i only took benzo 20 month in my whole life and i never recovered 46 month after my last dose ?????
i have been more sick off them and longer than i have been on them in my whole life.
why ?
I pushed myself to plant a smalle garden this year, partly inspired by you. I planted lettuce and Swiss chard. It feels so good to eat something I have grown. It’s like a double dose of healing- the peace of the garden and the nourishment of the food.
For the first couple of years, I was unable to think of anything but my agony and pain….at two years I watched my grandson, a newborn, two days a week…..it was extremely hard, and I do believe the stress of it caused me to have prolonged withdrawal. I have always worked in jobs where I helped other people, mostly senior citizens. I loved it so much that I tried volunteering with them again…it was too soon, so I went back to my coloring books. A year ago I became interested in helping feral cats in my neighborhood….I have trapped 4 cats so far and had them spayed…it’s not a great service to humanity, but at least I am helping living creatures to have a better life. Yes..distraction does help us…when we are able to be distracted from ourselves….
I don’t know why some people have setbacks and others do not. Nor do I understand why some of us take longer to heal. Perhaps some people who think they are in protracted withdrawal have a different illness that needs to be corrected. It’s hard to say. But those who are strictly in benzo withdrawal will heal in time. Just some of us take a lot longer than others. You won’t be stuck in withdrawal forever.