Those of us working in the Interpersonal Neurobiology field know that everyone’s brain is hardwired to ask the “Big Brain Question.” That question is simply, “Are you there for me?”

We don’t ask the question in the traditional sense, however our brains scan people’s behavior and communication towards us to determine if the answer is “yes” or “no.”

For example, when you were just a baby, your brain “knew” if your parents attended to your cries in a timely manner. If they did, your big brain question was answered with a “yes.” If they did not, your brain received a “no.”

As you grew, the more times you got a “yes” answer to your Big Brain Question, the more your brain grew and organized in an optimal way.  If you got a no” answer more times than not, your brain didn’t probably didn’t  have optimal brain growth or organization.  That means you are more prone to thinking, feeling, or behaving in less than optimal ways.

What does the Big Brain Question have to do with benzo withdrawals? Plenty!

I am convinced that those of us who received  more “no’s” to our Big Brain Question from those we care about and trust, have a harder time with withdrawal. We lack neural networks that would help us approach withdrawal in a more accepting, positive way. One of the gifts of withdrawal is that it can be a time to go deep within and heal the wounds left by a “no” answer to our Big Brain Question. How do you do that? I have a report I am finishing soon that will be available here on this site.

If you want the people in your life to learn how to respond with more “yeses'” to your Big Brain Question so your withdrawal will be more peaceful. I will have that guidebook available here soon. If you are registered to receive email notifications of my posts, I will make sure you know when the two reports are ready here.

One thing I can share quickly is that Deep Listening skills are vital for answering another person’s Big Brain Question. Deep Self-Listening skills are important for you to answer your own Big Brain Question with a “Yes!”
Next post: a fist. I’ll explain why it represents a great deal of your fear in withdrawal. It is a simple diagram of your brain.

By the way, if you can remember  BBQ (the Big Brain Question!) a fist and a road map, you’ll know basic brain science that can make your withdrawals more tolerable and more productive! You’ll come out the other side better than new! Fist and road map coming soon.

Sawa Bona,

Dr. Jenn