I get many emails asking why old fears are now unbearable. I tell everyone the same answer, “Because you are in withdrawal!”
When our GABA receptors aren’t working properly due to the damage from the benzo we took, our old fears can come back even stronger than they were pre-benzo!
My own experience was this: I had numerous fears/anxieties before I was put on Klonopin. One of those fears was flying. Eventually, I had to fly for my career. Being forced to face my fear helped me overcome it. I even flew through a snowstorm in Colorado where people were gasping and screaming as the plane pitched around, and I was cool as a cucumber. But not so in withdrawal! I couldn’t even look at an airplane in the sky without a cold jolt of fear going through my entire body. I live close to the San Francisco airport, and let me tell you, it was a real drag having to feel that fear so often. I didn’t have that fear pre-benzo. I only feared being ON a plane, not LOOKING at one.
I worried that the fear meant I would revert back to fearing plane travel again. I worried that any of my other old fears would come back too and stay, since I was no longer medicated. I worried and worried that without a benzo, my life was going to be horrible. It sure was horrible in withdrawal!
My fears were totally ungrounded. Not only can I look at a plane in the sky without fear coursing through my veins, I can even contemplate flying to distant countries again. My other fears in withdrawal faded away too. I didn’t wake up one day and it was all gone, it was a very gradual thing. But I assure you, all of the crazy fears and worries are gone. They will go away for you too, in time.
Hold on. Find ways to distract. I planted a flower garden in my front yard as most of you know, in order to cope. Keep your hands busy and your mind pre-occupied. When fear rushes through your body take slow deep breaths. Reassure yourself that it is simply your brain healing from the damage the drug did and one day it will go away. Take a walk if you can. Movement helps us process the stress chemicals that come with fear and anxiety.
Take this time to deepen your relationship with God. If you don’t have faith and would like help in developing a relationship with God, give me a shout. I’d be delighted to help you find your way to God.
If you want a few words of biblical hope, click over to Soulreminders.com.
It’s going to get better. It’s going to get MUCH better!