I knew this day would arrive sooner or later…
My daughter asked me to fly with her to Denver. She needs to go for work. It’s a short trip. We would stay in Denver then rent a car and toodle over to Aspen. If you’ve read any of my older posts, you may know that I miss Colorado so much it hurts. Literally. I have a chance to go visit. Best part is it doesn’t cost me anything.
What to do?
I still spend a large amount of my day on my couch. Dizzy, weak, tingling, burning, head pressure, blah, blah, blah….am I well enough to travel? Would all the stimulation set me back? I can’t bear the thought of another gruesome wave. The one that hit last June was horrific. I’m still on the fringes of it.
There is also the flight to consider. I was never a great flyer. I used to fly for business in 2008-2009. I flew quite a bit. But I also drank every flight to quell any jitters. It worked too. I flew through some gnarly snow storms without batting an eye. But the drinking days are behind me. One of the fear symptoms I had in early withdrawal was about planes. I live near SFO. Whenever I saw a plane in the sky, fear would wash through me. That’s now over, thank heavens. Just saying…. planes are not things I enjoy,
I will ponder this today. Journal. Pray.
I so want to support my daughter and accompany her so she doesn’t have to be alone. But I also don’t want to jeopardize my fragile improvement. Man, I used to jump at the chance to get back to Colorado. Nothing could stop me. Now, fear has me by the short hairs.
Sigh.
Gosh Jennifer,I know how you feel about traveling like this…..Nothing is worse then a bad wave from too much central nervous system stimulation.Im having that right now just from a long visit from a friend this week.I made it through,and that felt good,but it takes a long time to calm down again.I hope whatever you decide will be good!Thankyou for your inspiration to challenge another day,i really appreciate it!
Oh, Jenn, I hope you will take a deep breath, dig really deep and go. I don’t know any other way for you to find out if you’re ready for this step. But, I do know that fear will stop you in your tracks and keep you from the life you so want to return to. Your couch will be there to welcome you home and offer a soft landing, if needed. But, my bet is on your having a good time and feeling a confidence boost if you venture forth. Sending love and courage your way. ~~Mary
This is a tough one. Even if you have your body symptoms, but otherwise feel well, I would go for it. Going back to that place you love might be just what you need. I’m taking a big step and going to the beach this week for two days. I’m going to eat really clean and try not to worry about what might happen. I think if we’re real careful, we’ll be okay. When is this trip?
How about a step by step plan written down. A flight not so full, a seat next to ur daughter only(mayb by aisle), a place u retreat after flight just 4 u, rest on a comfy place, n time to spend recovering n 4 daughter..thats all ideas. Pray n journal r best..idk myself @ times. I probably over do things n anxiety n body adrenal n over thinkn cause lack of sleep..Instead to rest more..thought I did rest..not workn much. Hard to go to church n help w/kids an hr or 2 n etc.. yet after im there im kinda ok..until I come home. I pray n cope..I wrote today n helps..thought face fears??then I complain..o boy..the more I do..i no its not so easy..u have good ways coping. I try some..Prayers 4 u Jennifer.
As I was nearing the end of my benzo taper in August 2010, I began planning a Christmas visit to see my family in Southern California. I had no idea what I would feel like at only four months benzo-free, but I knew that I needed something to look forward to. It was hard. But everyone took it easy on me and it didn’t cause me a setback. I’m glad I went. As much as possible, I try to say yes to things like that. But not always. Sometimes my body is very clear about its limitations and I have to respect them.
Jenn, you’ve been through a lot and your brain is still delicate while healing. Flying and an elevation change is tough on anyone. Staying at home might be a better choice right now. You’ve come so far.
Is there a passenger train option? Would that be better or is the trip itself too much excitement?
Hello there,I gladly stumbled across your blog today,could you please tell me how long you were taking benzos?what was your daily dose?
I would be cautious. I was doing well and went in a family vacation. The first night after we arrived I was vomiting. After we returned home 3 weeks later I am still not back to pre vacation baseline and have suffered 10 weeks now nonstop sweating and hot flashes, interrupted sleep, panic. It has not let up at all.
The train option might be good.
Hi there! I know this is an old post, but I’ve been reading through your blog from the beginning, and I am so profoundly grateful for this documentation of your experience. More on that another time. I’ve not finished reading yet, but I hit this post, and I have to take a long intercontinental flight tomorrow with a layover. I have put it off for over a year during my taper and there’s no avoiding it anymore. Any suggestions? I’m putting together a benzo survival kit with lavender oil, whole food snacks, a good dinner, painkillers (which I need– I have ones that I react to the least in withdrawal), moisturizer, a body brush… I’m gonna try to take an empty hot water bottle, and ask them to fill it for me. Comfy soft clothes, warm socks and boots, extras in case my sweats are severe, moisturizer, coccyx cushion, lumbar support, neck support, my “safety blanket”… if you or any of your lovely buddies have suggestions I am thirsty for them! Honestly I think my strongest tool is the outlook of radical acceptance I’ve culled from reading your posts and others’ comments on them, so… thanks.