Well, 2014 is starting off interestingly enough.
I was asleep before the New Year rang in here in California and expected to wake up and start the new year by cleaning my little place and heading over to my studio to paint. That was the plan at least. But life had a different plan. I woke up feeling as if I may be coming down with a cold. In a few hours, that turned into what feels like full-blown withdrawal minus the mental component.
Ok, I call Uncle! 🙂
This wave started the Friday before Christmas and has waxed and waned. I thought it was lifting. I have started juicing again and I have gone totally vegan, so maybe this is s result of cleansing my body? I always eat super healthy, but I have stepped it up a notch or two for sure. Who knows.
I will use the advice I give others: acceptance, acceptance, acceptance. I will be grateful I have a good life even if I am feeling horrible. I will use my anchor and sit in the garden and chat with people walking by. I’ll curl up on the couch when I need a break and I will visit anniesannuals.com and drool over flowers I want to buy to plant in the garden.
Page 417 of the Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous, Fourth Edition) has the key for my happiness and serenity today:
And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.
When I am disturbed,
It is because I find some person, place, thing, situation —
Some fact of my life — unacceptable to me,
And I can find no serenity until I accept
That person, place, thing, or situation
As being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake.
Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober;
Unless I accept life completely on life’s terms,
I cannot be happy.
I need to concentrate not so much
On what needs to be changed in the world
As on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.”
I am going to accept that for this moment, I am sick. And I trust that everything in God’s world is as it should be. I will focus on what I need to change in myself, and not what needs to change in the world.
I hope everyone has a good New Years day in spite of any withdrawal symptoms.
We are still alive. Still here to love and be loved. That’s a true gift for which I am grateful, even with my bones and muscles aching, burning and tingling.