I have been waiting and waiting to sleep through the night. It HAPPENED LAST NIGHT!
My head hit the pillow around 11 P.M. and I was fast asleep. When I woke up, I looked at my clock and it was 6.33 A.M. I couldn’t believe it! I was so happy. I did a little victory dance under the covers. I am sure my dog Shakespeare, asleep at the foot of the bed, wondered what in the world was going on.
SLEEP!! I slept! I feel like shouting it from the rooftop. It’s been over FOUR years since I slept through the night.
Let me take you back a few years…. during my taper I would fall asleep at 6. A.M. Yuppers, you read it right. SIX A.M. I slept until 8, 9 or if I was lucky, 10 A.M It was bad (or so I thought, until I had something far worse to compare it to!). Then, after my cold turkey, I would sleep for *maybe* three hours in the night, but would wake up every few minutes in total and utter terror. I remember wishing I could go back to the sleep I had when tapering.
My sleep has slowly gotten better as my brain has slowly recovered from the damage benzos caused. The past six months I have been sleeping fairly well but waking up usually twice, sometimes 3 times a night. I was able to (usually) fall back asleep but I never felt rested when I woke up. (Partly that is due simply to being “benzo sick.”) I had been feeling like it wasn’t going to be too much longer before I slept soundly through the night again.
I still have a lot of body symptoms, pain, burning, tingling, etc., but I get on with life. I know that it will all go away one day, just as the sleep disturbances are going away.
If you are suffering from benzo withdrawal insomnia, please be patient and hold on. It will get better. It will get a lot better.
Hope this post gives you some hope. Big hugs to you all, my dear benzo buddies.