I have been waiting and waiting to sleep through the night. It HAPPENED LAST NIGHT!
My head hit the pillow around 11 P.M. and I was fast asleep. When I woke up, I looked at my clock and it was 6.33 A.M. I couldn’t believe it! I was so happy. I did a little victory dance under the covers. I am sure my dog Shakespeare, asleep at the foot of the bed, wondered what in the world was going on.
SLEEP!! I slept! I feel like shouting it from the rooftop. It’s been over FOUR years since I slept through the night.
Let me take you back a few years…. during my taper I would fall asleep at 6. A.M. Yuppers, you read it right. SIX A.M. I slept until 8, 9 or if I was lucky, 10 A.M It was bad (or so I thought, until I had something far worse to compare it to!). Then, after my cold turkey, I would sleep for *maybe* three hours in the night, but would wake up every few minutes in total and utter terror. I remember wishing I could go back to the sleep I had when tapering.
My sleep has slowly gotten better as my brain has slowly recovered from the damage benzos caused. The past six months I have been sleeping fairly well but waking up usually twice, sometimes 3 times a night. I was able to (usually) fall back asleep but I never felt rested when I woke up. (Partly that is due simply to being “benzo sick.”) I had been feeling like it wasn’t going to be too much longer before I slept soundly through the night again.
I still have a lot of body symptoms, pain, burning, tingling, etc., but I get on with life. I know that it will all go away one day, just as the sleep disturbances are going away.
If you are suffering from benzo withdrawal insomnia, please be patient and hold on. It will get better. It will get a lot better.
Hope this post gives you some hope. Big hugs to you all, my dear benzo buddies.
Jennifer
Wow Jennifer. Hip hip hooray,! You are on your way. My sleep still comes in bits and pieces. Can’t wait to get a whole nights sleep. So happy for you.
What incredible news Jennifer. So happy for you. Like you were, I am waiting for that day. Keep posting your successes. I love reading them and know others must too. You bring us all so much hope. God bless you on your journey.
Iam so happy for you!
I am not in benzo WD but in antidepressants WD.I’ve found out they are very similar.
At 28 months off I’ve had a lot of improvement, but my sleep still messed up, waking up several times during the night.Fortunatelly, no terror anymore.
Your post gives me hope.
That is great to hear Jennifer!! 😀 I look forward to that sound peaceful sleep. Thank you for sharing as Im still suffering and its a BIG symp, n I try to venture out a little more but helps somewhat..but…which in turn leads to..I keep reminding self it gets much better. Thx
Jenn:
I’m super happy for you!!! I have to admit, I am not as strong as you and could not handle that many years without sleep!!!!! I have to take something once in a while to help…usually natural stuff…You are super strong and it sounds like you are getting there!!!!
Yahoo. Great news. Hoping I can join you soon. I still wake up at least twice, some nights more.
I am getting 6 to 7 hours most nights but I doubt it is “good” sleep. And about every 4 nights I have a night where I have no sleep. Can’t take naps either, makes me very sick if I try or accidentally fall asleep in my comfy chair. I am so happy for you, Jennifer. Hoping it will keep happening. I have a feeling, though, that having Shakespeare in your bed might be helping. I sleep with my little Sugar girl now, poor hubby in the guest room because of my bad sxs. But she does seem to help calm me when I wake up scared and shaking.
Keep improving, dear friend. We are all healing, maybe not as fast as we would wish, but we are.
Karen
That is such great news! I hope you can repeat this night after night! Thanks for sharing with us so we can have hope. It’s 2:42AM on another sleepless night. I haven’t slept since my ct on March 15th, 2012! I kinda pass out for 15 minutes or so every 6-7 days, then wake up sobbing, covered in sweat, heart pounding & terrified by a super-realistic dream. I never try to sleep anymore because it’s so unpleasant & I feel worse for trying to sleep & not sleeping & worse still when I do pass-out-sleep. If not for you & all of the other wonderful, strong people who have gone through this before me & are generous enough to share your experiences I would not be able to hold on to hope! Thank you & pleasant dreams!!