I’m settled in for the night at a hotel in Blythe, California. I crossed the state line with a multitude of feelings. I’m sad that the journey is coming to an end, yet I’m happy and excited about the things I’ve learned. I needed this trip to mark the merging of my life from benzo withdrawal to normal life (whatever that is!). I know I’ll be unpacking lessons from this trip for a very long time.
I am grateful God inspired me to take this trip. I’m grateful that I was always taken care of, every mile, every day, every night. Not only did my benzo friends give me their support, but total strangers were kind and helpful. I saw an abundance of good out there in the world!
I’ve made some new benzo friends along the way and I’ve cemented friendships with people I had only known via email. To think that a few years ago I was too sick and weak to stand in the shower! Now, I’ve almost completed a journey from San Fran to Miami and back. If you had told me a few years ago i would travel across the country I would have laughed at you! I never thought I would heal enough. Certainly I have more healing to do as my body still battles a list of benzo symptoms. But I am well enough. And my mental and emotional health has never been better.
I go home, ready to start a new chapter. I look forward to meaningful work, finding a partner, and watching my children one day turn into parents. Life is rich and full with possibly again. It is rich and full with love and gratitude.
Thank you, each and every one of you who helped me take this journey. Thank you for the donations, the clothes,the dog blanket, the food, the crucifix, the books, the dog food, the cards, the emails, phone calls and prayers. (Did I forget anything?)
Once I am home I am going to take a few days to settle in. I wont be texting, talking, emailing etc. anything about benzos. I want a few days to sink into thoughts and feelings of family and neighbors. I’ll be back helping my benzo buddies soon after.
Blessings and thanks to you all.