I’m settled in for the night at a hotel in Blythe, California. I crossed the state line with a multitude of feelings. I’m sad that the journey is coming to an end, yet I’m happy and excited about the things I’ve learned. I needed this trip to mark the merging of my life from benzo withdrawal to normal life (whatever that is!). I know I’ll be unpacking lessons from this trip for a very long time.
I am grateful God inspired me to take this trip. I’m grateful that I was always taken care of, every mile, every day, every night. Not only did my benzo friends give me their support, but total strangers were kind and helpful. I saw an abundance of good out there in the world!
I’ve made some new benzo friends along the way and I’ve cemented friendships with people I had only known via email. To think that a few years ago I was too sick and weak to stand in the shower! Now, I’ve almost completed a journey from San Fran to Miami and back. If you had told me a few years ago i would travel across the country I would have laughed at you! I never thought I would heal enough. Certainly I have more healing to do as my body still battles a list of benzo symptoms. But I am well enough. And my mental and emotional health has never been better.
I go home, ready to start a new chapter. I look forward to meaningful work, finding a partner, and watching my children one day turn into parents. Life is rich and full with possibly again. It is rich and full with love and gratitude.
Thank you, each and every one of you who helped me take this journey. Thank you for the donations, the clothes,the dog blanket, the food, the crucifix, the books, the dog food, the cards, the emails, phone calls and prayers. (Did I forget anything?)
Once I am home I am going to take a few days to settle in. I wont be texting, talking, emailing etc. anything about benzos. I want a few days to sink into thoughts and feelings of family and neighbors. I’ll be back helping my benzo buddies soon after.
Blessings and thanks to you all.
Jennifer we are proud of you!!!
Oh my! You made me tear up! Thank you for your sweet comment. I’m so proud of ALL OF YOU! And I’m so proud of our benzo family that pulls together.
Hi Jennifer,
Congrats on your Wonderful Journey! I’ve been following you for the past 2yrs….and have been my inspiration!! I live in Laguna Hills, Ca. and would love to meet if you are close by in the next day or so. I live near the 5 by Irvine Spectrum. If ur too tired I truly understand!! I did a rapid detox and reinstated. I have been tapering from 6mg Ativan to .5mg. I’m now on my last leg of this 4yr process. Reading your blogs have touched me and given me such strength! You are my Hero!!
Wonderful to read. I’m excited to hear what’s next. Welcome back!
God Bless you Jenn. Love you so much.
; ( 🙂 Thank U Jennifer. Wish u such peace. Prayers..
Jennifer,
Would you be willing to share what you were saying about your relationship with God. I have read your blogs and they really scared me…especially when you talked about the three friends that didn’t make it. I am afraid that will be me too because I am just beginning this journey of getting off of a benzo and I am already having so many troubles. My family will not try to understand and I am feeling very much like Jonah in the belly of a whale. Surrounded by loved ones that want me to get over it or just buck up and deal. I feel very alone. I am not good with pain or suffering and feel that my future is hopeless….after reading about your positive outlook and then you ended up under suicide watch and couldn’t get off of the benzos after 8 months tapering so they c/t you…makes me feel so much more hopeless……you seem so strong and amazing and I am not like that at all. Thank you for any thoughts you can share…..
Good Luck! Thanks for all that u do.
jess
Glad your back! So glad to hear your feeling better! You are such an inspiration!