I have received many emails thanking me for chronicling my healing journey after 18 years of prescribed benzo use. ( I never abused benzos.) Your stories touch me deeply. There is so much suffering in getting off and healing from these medications. It really is a sorry state of affairs that doctors are uneducated about these medications and continue to harm people by prescribing them long-term, and by not acknowledging the benzo withdrawal syndrome that can occur (for a very long time!) in some of the people getting off of them.
Having gotten that off my chest, *smile* I can focus on the real reason I am posting. So many of you have requested that I keep the site active, even if I no longer post, that I want to accommodate you in that request. The problem is that this website costs me money every year to maintain. It isn’t a great deal of money, however as many of you know, we lose our financial safeguards when we are recovering. I lost everything between not being able to work and the medical bills I accrued during my long healing journey. I have to start all over again, at the tender age of 55!
If you want me to keep this site alive, (and I will continue to post if it’s still up) please email me at drjenniferleigh@gmail.com and I will send you my paypal information and you can make a small, (or large!) donation to keep the site active.
There are 104 people who read these posts via an email notification. If you only pledged a US dollar each, that would be more than enough to keep the site up and running.
Again, thank you to all who have taken the time to email me in the past few days. Your letters warm my heart and make me feel less alone in this adventure to regain my health, my ability to work again, and to just be a normal functioning human being. I lived in the netherworld for so very long as my brain and body was healing, just like you are doing. I’m seeing the light at the end of the tunnel when I am in a window. I believe Bliss when she says we heal. It is just for some of us, it takes a very long time.
I look forward to your donations to keep this blog alive for future readers who are suffering, and for care providers who are searching for answers to why their friends and loved ones are suffering.
Happy Sunday!
Jennifer
Dr. Jennifer –
I read your emails every time with my son (age 24 who is struggling) and we both said how much we hope you don’t take the site down. WE are happy to contribute. I would also like to know more about your garden therapy and how to create a lovely garden in Connecticut, as well as your skype sessions with Bliss. I didn’t know she offered this. You are such a support to us – best,
Kim
Date: Sun, 4 Aug 2013 15:28:09 +0000 To: kimberly600@hotmail.com
Yes keep it active. It is needed and you are someone with credentials ( Degree ) so you cannot be dismissed so much as some in your observations.
Kim
I became a horticultural therapist and joined the American Horticultural Therapy Association. Gardening has truly helped me heal. Ok, some of you will say, but you aren’t healed 100%. That’s true. But I know my front yard garden has helped me rewire my brain in good ways. Very good ways in fact.
Kim, shoot me an email and tell me what you want to grow. Flowers? Veggies? Google your zip code to find out what growing zone you are in. Then let me know how much sun the area you want to plant gets. You are going to battle the winter soon, unless you have a greenhouse. So lets plan to get things in the ground that will germinate or puts roots down, so the spring will be a riot of color and perfume fragrances.
I can lead you to resources so you can plan an amazing garden!
Ad for Bliss, she and I became friends. I don’t believe she offers sessions to anyone at the moment. She is back at university, getting her degree and license to become a therapist. She will be an amazing therapist. 🙂
This is a long and lonely road to travel. I am so glad your son has you for support. What a good mom you are!
Joseph, I am not so sure the string of letters after my name really matters to the shrinks, lol. Once you take a psych med, you are a reduced human being to most of them. However, I have taught a few doctors here in the San Fran area ( a shrink included!) about the very real dangers of these drugs, and they no longer prescribe them! Score one for the home team!! No matter how much education a person has, their story should be listened to, respected and believed. I mean really… how could anyone make this shit up? Like I really went to bed one night and thought, hmmmmm, let me tell people I burn, tingle, bones hurt, and faces melt when I look at them, (that was the first few months after the CT) etc, etc, etc…for kicks and giggles.
Ok, clearly I am in a silly mood this morning. But you get my drift. We all need to be believed, no matter what our education or career choice.
Cause there are millions of us, with the same story. Over and over and over again.
So, so true. Its just a shame we are not believed yet. Prob all about the money. Suits etc. Ahh. I feel your pain as well as all the others before and after us.
Jenn: I am happy to contribute to your website continuation. Please let me know how and where to contribute to. I feel you are helping other people who are suffering so much and your blog brings comfort and hope. It should be kept going.
Warmly, Jackie Sussman
Hello and thank you. Ill post it here: Email for my Paypal is jenn@behappygrowstrong.com
That email May only work two more days as that’s a private domain that I’m letting go for lack of funds. 🙁
Thank you all for your amazing support. Jenn
I IPhone, therefore I err.
Dr. Jennifer Leigh Horticultural Therapist Therapeutic Gardens 650.238.4125 Innovagardens.com Jennifer@innovagardens.com
I’ll donate. Your blog is extremely helpful and I’d like it to be viewed by others, not just me. The string of letters may not matter to shrinks but you always hear the same thing, “What did the doctor say”..it’s like nobody will believe, unless its from a doctor.
Thank you! Keep in mind I’m a doctorate of psychology kind of doc. Not an md. All of us in Benzo withdrawal know more than most doctors when it comes to this syndrome.
I’m deeply touched by all of the support. Ill check my pay pal account latter and thank everyone individually privately via email.
For whatever its worth, yesterday was a decent day. Today I’m back to pain and an overwhelmed Benzo mind. Go figure. It’s all so up and down. But the windows give me hope. Soon ill post what it was like as I started coming back “online” as I call it. If any of you are at that phase, it can be a bit scary. It was for me. More later…
Please don’t close this site as I’ve only just found it and would like to read all your entries.
I was on benzos for sleep following an enforced menopause in my twenties. I took them for forty years and am now 68. I believe I may be one of the longest users in the UK. I cold turkeyed eight months ago and am struggling through with all the help I can get on the net. I have had all the symptoms in the book plus more! However, I remain positive and am determined to heal. My problems now seem very physical although the anxiety flares on occasions.
Many thanks for your informative blog and I hope to be able to read more but can only do so in small chunks.
Yes, please continue this site. Am in slow tapering now and experiencing sooo many symptoms – physical, emotional, and mental. Altho it can frighten me at times to read about this, I am desperately in need of support. I’ve sent you an email for information as to how to donate. Thank you.