Like a flash flood, benzo rage instantly builds up until it overflows and pushes against anything in its path. Often, there is no warning. It can be triggered by the most mundane circumstances. In the heat of the moment, you may have a hard time controlling what you say, maybe even what you do. Your limbic system is hijacked; with all of its irrational, knee-jerk thoughts and feelings. Once the “flood waters” recede, you feel remorse for your outburst, and maybe a bit overwhelmed, even panicked that you briefly lost control. Like all of the other benzo withdrawal symptoms, benzo rage isn’t easy to cope with. But here are some things that you can do to help you maneuver through the anger until your brain has healed more.
- Remember to breathe. Taking a few deep breaths and exhaling longer than you inhale can help you settle down. (Shallow breathing or rapid breathing can fuel the anger.)
- Tell your friends and family about benzo rage so that they aren’t blindsided by it if you experience it. Let them know that it’s a hard symptom to control and that you’ll do your best to not lose your cool. Educate them on how to help you if you do go into a rage. Ask them to remember to be calm and to speak to you in soft tones. They can offer to take a gentle walk with you or to sit with you until you are more in control. It’s hard to be around someone who is angry, but that is often what we need the most. We are riddled with fear already; we don’t want to be abandoned.
- If you feel anger mounting, you can excuse yourself from the people you are with and take a walk, go scream into a pillow, journal, etc. A few people I’ve coached have bought cheap plates from Goodwill and found a safe place to throw them so that they shatter. That seems to let off steam in a safe way, just be careful when cleaning up the glass!
- Make amends with anyone you have disrespected or harmed with your outburst.
- Avoid supplements, vitamins, or medications that can rev you up.Sometimes we react to taking vitamins and other substances with extreme feelings, and rage can certainly be one of them.
- Understand that benzo rage is a withdrawal symptom and part of the healing process. For some, old wounds surface and feelings are incredibly big and overwhelming. Old hurts that you may have thought resolved may surface again and be emotionally painful again. It’s also common to hold grudges and to be resentful of people you don’t feel are understanding or supportive of your benzo withdrawal journey. Know that as you heal, the anger will subside. You won’t always feel the degree of anger you feel now.
- Do your best to practice forgiveness. Remember that everyone is doing their best, even those people who have hurt you, and let them off the hook. You’ve hurt people in your life, too. None of us are perfect. So extend forgiveness to others and to yourself.
- Have a spiritual practice that allows you to “Let go and let God.” Building our spiritual “muscle” in benzo withdrawal is a good way to cope with all of our symptoms.
- Count to ten. I know how silly that sounds, but it does have some merit. Pausing when we feel our anger begin to mount can help us gain control over our emotions. Give yourself some time to rationally address your mounting anger, and hopefully, diffuse it to some degree. Make some space for you to think through your feelings if at all possible.
- If your benzo rage causes you or others to be in danger, please seek help from people who can keep you and others safe. It’s a good idea to have a plan in place just in case you need help. Benzo rage is usually not violent per se, but it’s better to be prepared in the event you lose control. (Keeping weapons locked up or out of the house is a good idea for anyone in benzo withdrawal.)
These are ten things that you can do to help you cope if you have benzo rage. What are some of the things that you do that work best for you? Feel free to respectfully share your thoughts and ideas. The more we share our common experiences, the less alone we feel and the more educated we become about the process of recovering from benzo withdrawal. Benzo rage is one of the symptoms that people are often hesitant to talk about because they are embarrassed that they lose their cool. However, benzo rage should be no more embarrassing than our insomnia, tingling, burning skin, etc. it is simply another benzo withdrawal symptom that will go away in time.
Hello jenn.This post is so helpful. It’s made me realise that some of my reactions atm are, yet again, withdrawal.
I’m dealing with some difficult situations, including my elderly parents continuing to deteriorate . I tend to keep my emotions in….even now, so I end up angry in my head with thoughts and imaginary conversations going around and around. Us Brits arent so good at letting our emotions out.Going for a walk helps me. So does praying in tongues. (Is that kosher)??Sometimes talking to my daughters doggie helps… ours died a little while ago very sadly..Anyhow, thank you again for a brilliant post.love nick x
Hi Jenn, Wow my rage has been off the charts of late, I feel really frustrated at how I physically feel at the moment, and it very quickly turns to anger. I feel angry when I think of all my friends who comment here and are hurting too, it seems to be my “red flag”. Lately when I feel the bubble of anger brewing I will make myself a cup of tea, sit down, deep breaths, and try and let my mind wander to things I enjoyed doing and say to myself, that is my life, not this, I just have to wait it out. It helps me to cope a little better. Sometimes I will just go to the bathroom and cry as I find crying a good release for me. Forgiveness is the big hurdle I cannot get over, and I know its negative not to forgive, but boy oh boy I just cannot forgive anyone for doing this to me, and others. I will keep working on it, it’s only been 7 months.
Love and Hugs across the Pond
Jackie
Edinburgh
Nicola hope that Horrid chemical Anxiety is starting to let up for you, a bit, you are in my heart and prayers.
My prayers to all, I am rooting for everyone we will win this war x x
Hello Jackie.. The chemical anxiety is a lot better generally, but it comes and goes…. Depending on how stressful things are. You are in my heart too…. And I pray for you each day. Love to everyone on this challenging journey. Xxxx
Hi Jennifer
I wrote to you a while ago and thought I would follow up. I have been diagnosed with GAD as a result of retiring and losing my identity. I have taken numerous AD, benzodiazepines, and antipsychotics over the past 2 1/2 years. I have forgotten what it feels like to be normal but glimpses do come through.
I have been off clonazepam for about 3 months now and zopiclone for about 2 months. I am med free.
I’m not sure what I am experiencing is still withdrawal. I cannot get a good nights sleep due to digestive/stomach problems and ruminating in the early mornings. Sometimes I wake up depressed and sometimes feeling crazy. This has been going on for a few weeks off and on. Some nights are worse then others. Sometimes I feel okay. The stomach pain is continual and only subsides with Pepcid or Tums. It’s almost like my liver is in revolt.
My doctor has suggested trintellix which my daughter has been on for a few months and her anxiety has subsided and she feels better. I am only considering it because we have the same genetics.
How long did your insomnia last for? I enjoy your posts. They are helping me a lot.
Regards
Pam
It’s Pam again. I think I have taken too many Tums. The past 3-4 nights I have woken up feeling very weird with what I can only describe as the “heebie jeebies”. I have never felt like this before. Cannot relax. Almost like a panicky feeling. This is not helping the insomnia. I guess I will go to the ER to see if they can help.
I felt rage even in tolerance withdrawal but couldn’t understand why. 20 years on Klonopin and just now finding out it didn’t work , unless the Dr upped it. The hell of it all. My husband has the pt’s of a saint. Thank you Jennifer . When I researched Klonopin withdrawn God was on my side, led me to you. Xx