Life in benzo withdrawal is far from ideal. There are so many things that we can’t do like we used to be able to do. Even things like going out to lunch with friends, watching a movie, or even driving to the grocery store, are tasks that we may feel that we are not able to perform. The secret to navigating this new (temporary) life is to let go of your ideal and to discover and aim for what is possible.
What does possibility look like? Instead of saying to yourself, “I can’t go to lunch with friends,” you say, “I’ll go to lunch and sit by the door in case I need to leave if I become overwhelmed.” You allow yourself to go and explore the possibility that you can get through it. Or you explore the possibility of cooking and having friends over for lunch. Or you use a food service app and have lunch delivered to your home. Better yet, you suggest a pot-luck lunch.
When I lost the ability to work in benzo withdrawal, which was my ideal life, of course, I turned my gardening into my daily endeavor. It wasn’t the incredible career I had pre-withdrawal, nor did it bring in an income. but it was what was possible for me to do. My gardening became the fuel that kept me going. It was what helped open my heart. It was what created healing relationships. Sometimes, letting go of our ideal and embracing our possibilities opens some amazing doors in our lives!
Almost everyone in life has a time when they can’t live their ideal. Whether that has occurred due to illness, financial woes, a natural disaster, war, etc. it doesn’t matter. We have to let go of what we’re used to being able to do and to become creative to find what we can do with our new limitations or boundaries. It’s about shifting our perspective. Pining over the loss of our ideal keeps us stuck in victimhood. That hinders true healing. When we shift our focus to figuring out what is possible, we not only open up our lives, we begin to feel more victorious. We are able to feel more gratitude, which is incredibly healing. We may not be able to do X, but we realize we can do Y and we are grateful for that.
True recovery is more than our GABA receptors coming back online. True recovery is about how we view the world. It is about how we take care of ourselves. If want to heal and thrive in life, we must be mindful of how we view the world. Do we see all that we can’t do or do we see all that we can do? Do we grieve and complain abut the unfairness in life, or do we practice gratitude for everything? Do we set the intention every morning to take good care of ourselves or do we ignore what we know helps us to heal?
Your possibilities are far more powerful and healing than you know. Embrace what you can do. You will find that once you recover, your ideal life may be better than ever because you’ve developed so much through embracing your possibilities.
Gratitude,is a good way to tell the nervous system things it needs in order to Heal.
Jennifer, this is a wonderful post. For me it speaks of hope. That I can use this time for good. Also, the result of turning of ingratitude to gratitude will help us heal and benefit from the ordeal. Another post that supports my dealing with my healing – THANK YOU!
Spot on ! Yes ATTITUDE & GRATITUDE . Reality… simply a matter of mind.
Jennifer, I did far more things, during the first 2 years of recovery, than I’m doing now. Any thoughts on that? The weather, depression, lenght of time it’s taking to recover? Anyone else experience this? I guess I’m feeling kind of hopeless today,32.5 months out. I hate the tease of 1 good day then 14 bad ones. Sorry I’m kind of whinny tiday. Just soooo worn out.
I would imagine you are worn out from the long journey. Do your best to rest, eat very clean and healthy, avoid stress, and be mindful of your self-talk. You’ll turn the corner soon enough. I know it’s exhausting, but hang in there. Brighter days are ahead.
You are most welcome!
Yes this helps turn victim mentality to gratitude. Hard hard when you are in it. I remember your positivity post. When you are in the acute it’s hard to be positive let’s face it, it’s fighting for your life. As days get better God willing these things are more possible. Your posts are helpful and healing thank you. Regardless of the situation a positive attitude serves you better
Angie, I just wanted to share with you that I’m the same and a similar time frame. I like Jenn have found healing in my garden in the summer. This year I’m thinking how on earth am I going to do it, now Spring is on the horizon. I did feel this last year too, but somehow managed. I must admit, I’m completely worn down too and feel it’s harder. I just wanted you to know you’re not alone and i relate to what you’re saying and how your feeling. Hang in there, we are bound feel like this. You posting helped me as i feel i’m the only one. it won’t always be like this xx
Katy, thanks. My brain is taking a break today from…..everything. Kind of flat feeling which is better than extreme fear. The first of April I will be forced to make my 3rd yearly trek, (during w/d and recovery) down the Oregon coast. It’s go along with everyone or get left alone for 10 days. I have hated the trip for years because of tolerance withdrawal. I so want to be well enough to at least not dread going. It’s so hard to fake stuff in front of a bunch of people. One year I never set foot out of our 5th wheel except to walk out the door and into the truck when we left to come back home. That’s a pathetic existence. I have not been able to avoid stress for the entire 33 months because of grandkids and family close by. You hang on too. ♡