When Hope Fades

When Hope Fades

I thought it would be so easy. Happy hour had become a habit over the years, in part fueled by interdose withdrawal from the clonazepam I took as prescribed. I didn’t correlate the buzzing and burning inside of my chest, or the increased pulse, or...
Do You See What I See?

Do You See What I See?

Good timing. Winter is my favorite time of the year. Life slows down and we turn toward each other as the holidays come into view. Every year I fixate on one Christmas carol, humming it over and over. This year, it was “Do You Hear What I Hear?” sung by...
Coping With Triggers.

Coping With Triggers.

At first, I had no clue. Even though my taper was fairly brutal from the get-go, I didn’t understand triggers. Not at first, anyway. I remember reading a post from a woman on a benzo website who was nine months out and suffering from a lot of triggers. She wrote...
Coping With Intrusive Thoughts

Coping With Intrusive Thoughts

*Warning, this post could be triggering for some.   The day I lost my mind. I can’t recall the exact day. Was I just home from the hospital after my cold-turkey, or was it before I was carried into the emergency room and admitted? No matter. What I do...