I’m calling this road trip “The Decision Tour” because decisions are what create the quality of our lives. Lately, I’ve been hearing a lot about how our thoughts create our reality so we better think good ones. But there is more to it than that. We can think all of the good thoughts we want, but if we don’t make a decision to act on them, to live our truth and get what we really want, those thoughts won’t do us much good. me. Our lives are created by the unconscious and conscious decisions we make, day in and day out. It’s important that we make good decisions, even in benzo withdrawal, maybe even especially in benzo withdrawal!
I know, you’re thinking,”Make a good decision? Hell, I can’t think straight! I’m riddled with fear and paranoia. How can I make good decisions with a broken brain?” You’ve got a point there, for sure. I’m not going to try to convince you that making sound decisions in benzo withdrawal is easy. It’s not. But, it is doable. It just takes some effort. We can make the decision to eat healthy one ingredient foods. We can decide to get gentle exercise. We can decide to limit our stress as much as possible. We can decide to lean into a mounting panic attack instead of being bowled over by it. There are countless decisions we can make in benzo withdrawal that will not only help us cope with withdrawal symptoms, but will help us move forward as we heal.
One of the first decisions we can make is to believe that our bizarre symptoms are indeed from benzo withdrawal. From there, we can decide how we want to cope with them. (Acceptance is a big step in the right direction.) I’ll be blogging about the power of decisions as I travel. I don’t have a set itinerary, other than I am leaving Monday, March 27th, and I am staying in Bakersfield, California the first and second night. After that, it will be interesting to see where my decisions take me! Anyone on the route from San Francisco to Bakersfield that wants to connect? Give me a shout.
What decisions can you make today that will help you cope with your benzo withdrawal symptoms, or help you to believe in yourself more? Think good thoughts; make good decisions!
Wow Jenn, you are such an inspiration to everyone on this journey. I am delighted that you are on the road yet again, your energy and passion are astounding! Your commitment to selfless helping of others to me is a miracle. Although I have never met you I totally am in awe with your compassion and strength. You rock! Thank you for helping me try to stay positive, I will forever be in your gratitude.
I hope with all my heart that the trip is everything and more!
I may not be with you in body, but I will be in soul.
Big hugs across the pond
Jackie
I made terrible decisions at the height of my Benzo use. I maxed out my line of credit to fill the void and now I am in danger of losing my house. Spending money satisfied my impulsiveness. If vegetables were credit cards, I’d be the healthiest person on the planet.
You are a beautiful loving soul Jennifer. How exciting a road trip. Have fun, our thoughts will be with you every mile. As you have shared here, yes indeed 🙂 ” a journey of a thousand miles – begins with the first step ” chinese proverb. Thank dear one for helping us take that first step.
With Love & Gratitude, Jerry
Decisions ….. YES …. I can make them! Yay …. thanks! How wonderfully freeing! How empowering! With this I think of responsibility. My Benzo days (all 15 years of those days) were not my most empowering. It seems the decisions I made were often in reaction rather then pro action. I was not the most responsible person. Not to others or myself. Letting myself down, time after time, reeked havoc on my Self-Esteem. Wow … I’m coming home to myself. It’s nice to meet me again. I think I like myself 🙂
With gratitude to you, Jennifer, & to all of my fellow travelers. Sweet Blessings ~
Hi Jenn, I laid awake last night wondering why your trip is called “The Decision” tour. Please don’t leave me Jenn I’m scared. I rely on your blogs to read and inspire me to keep going.
Love across the Pond
Jackie
Kathy Lewis, I think we all made some poor decisions on Benzos. Some of mine are absolutely so embarrassing. I have a practical suggestion for your current situation. You might call the United Way Information & Referal Service. There’s a lot of help out there. Its a national program with local chapters that can tell you what’s available in your area for your situation. Look it up in your area or call 211. I know it must be scary but you WILL make it through this & be better off for it. (((Hugs)))
I decided to get off benzo, I decide to hold on w/d, and I will decide to get my life back when I am ready/healed enough 🙂
Love Jennifer
I called it that name because I want to highlight the importance of our decisions. I’ll be posting from the road my decisions about what city I visit next. I’ll be sharing info about the power of our decisions. I am not going anywhere Jackie, except on a road trip. Don’t worry! I’m here for you and everyone else in benzo withdrawal. Keep healing!
Why so much hate ????
I’m finding myself hating everyone for no reason. , it’s because everyone out there will never no the pain I am feeling and they’re going about their days without a worry in the world , you really realise that all the little things we used to worry about. . JENNIFER I bet you don’t give a s*** about those things anymore !
Does anyone else have these hateful thoughts towards others for no reason ??
Dave I have no patience with people anymore. I wouldn’t worry about others not feeling the pain we do. There are so many people on Benzos now that will have to come off them eventually. I have those strong feelings about people. I find them stupid or deceptive. I’ve always felt this way about these ppl, but getting lower on benzos has thawed my feelings, and now I have to tame them a bit. Just disliking someone’s behaviour has turned into hatred for me as well. I believe, though, that things will calm down once I get used to having feelings.
Hi Kathy
I’m also referring to people I love like my family and friends , getting angry at them and they didn’t even do anything wrong , I keep yelling at my dad because he suggests things I’m not comfortable doing , I told him I want to go to the football and he said I should just go , it’s only a football match he said , after 2 years of explaining my symptons he just doesn’t get it and it makes me angry even though he’s only trying to help . These drugs are satan and just destroy all basic instincts as a human being
any trying to get off pheno barbital. feel tired of the withdrawl proccesss. every time i taper i feel awful. wondering if anyone has gotten of and felt better
Dave I thought of you last night. I have a visitor staying with me for a few days. This poor woman has gotten afraid to open her mouth as I am so bitchy. People visit me and expect me to do all the work, even when I tell them in advance that I can’t wait on people (foot pain is bad and then there’s withdrawl). I try to be clear. I was in this rage yesterday that I had to push down as it was way too big. I lost it last time ppl visited and then totally ignored me. As they were leaving I started ranting about not being welcome on a trip we had planned. I was insane, The current visitor wants me to sell her my meds. That really sets me off. She also wants me to sit up all night and talk US politics (We are Canadian) and watch endlessly repetitive news on CNN. I just can’t stand it. I hate being alone all the time, but I also can’t stand people around me for any length of time.
Every once in a while a happy thought crosses my mind, but mostly people just make me mad, It’s good to vent. All the best, Dave.