“Then Jesus said, “Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile.” (Mark 6:31)
I’m an over achiever. Even in recovery, I wanted to do it “better” than anyone else. I bought all of the recovery books I could. I went to meeting after meeting. I walked the labyrinth at the Mercy Center. I mean, I poured my heart out into recovery. Which is a good thing…up to a point.
Many of us with addictive thinking and addictive behavior don’t know how to turn off our need to go, go, go. We want everything, and we want it right now. Ah, we can be so… grandiose.
It wasn’t until my body began failing in benzodiazepine withdrawal that I learned the “secret sauce” of recovery: quiet rest. I had to learn how to take time to go away by myself and rest my mind. I didn’t take time away to pray, (although I do pray often throughout the day) I took time to be quiet. No talking to God. Just quiet.
Once I began to carve out time to be quiet and rest, my recovery felt more natural and I was more at ease. I wasn’t struggling or striving any more. I was more at peace in my body, more at peace in the world. I didn’t have to go to extremes. I could reign in my need to always be busy. I finally understood what it meant to be a human being, instead of a human doing.