“You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask.” James 4:2
It used to be, when I was scared or overwhelmed with big emotions, I’d head to the kitchen and pull the bottle of red wine down from the cabinet. The sound of the cork popping out of the bottle signaled to my brain that help was on the way. I immediately began to calm down, knowing that alcohol was soon going to numb my feelings. Of course, it wasn’t really help at all. It didn’t solve my problems. In fact, my drinking was a problem in and of itself, that was slowly destroying everything good in my life.
When I got sober, I had to find a new way to cope with my emotions and my problems. I learned that there was a very simple thing I could do. I could ask for help. God was always there for me to turn to. There were also friends and family I could ask for help. No longer did I have to shoulder and face my fears on my own.
Many of us don’t want to appear “weak.” We don’t want others to know that we wrestle with problems. To be able to ask for help, we must learn humility, and put aside our egos. Every single human being on the planet feels fear, doubt, and confusion. We are no different.
When we ask someone for help, we allow them to be of service. We give them the opportunity to give, and that is a good thing. When we ask God for help, we allow God to shine in all of his glory! Sometimes, all the help we need is for someone to listen to us so we can sort out our thoughts and feelings. It’s okay to ask someone to do that for us.
I no longer need to numb my feelings with alcohol. I can face them squarely because I know how to ask for help when I need it.
The passage from James shows just how powerful this three little word is. Use it.
F.R.O.G. Practice: Today ask for help from God or another human being when you feel afraid, angry, uncertain or confused.