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I joined a private FB group for people over three years out and still hurting. I found this posted there: http://www.bendbulletin.com/home/2119922-151/benzodiazepines-treat-anxiety-cause-long-term-problems#

I am doing what I have always done to ride this beast. I am gardening. I am planted about 30 new annuals to fill in where the spring bloomers had come and gone. I am also installing a prayer tree. I’ll snap a pix and send when it’s up and ready.

Here’s a shot of hope: I had an amazing window yesterday that lasted a few hours. No sx, except tinnitus. It was heaven. At 10 pm, it came to a crashing close with severe tingles, burning, etc followed by a very nasty night of my typical benzo crap. But, that window was heaven!

On another note: you may have noticed I have scaled back the pages on this site.
I am NOT taking on any new clients to coach on coping skills. I am practicing extreme self-care right now and not over extending myself. Until this wave let’s up, I am keeping my life as simple as possible. I am sure you understand. (I still read emails however and comments posted here.) I encourage everyone to find an “anchor,” something they can do that helps them distract. For me, it has been gardening. I know it kept me alive the first year off.

If someone had told me I would get hit with the mother of all waves this far out, I would have laughed in their face. The day I taught at Stanford, I really thought I was almost at the finish line. I was wrong. Still have a way to go. No idea when this will come to an end, but I do know it will eventually end. My hunch is I have another year(s) until everything calms down.

Keep fighting the good fight. I will too. One day, life will be sweet again. It was for a while, before this wave hit. I felt full of wonder and awe. I am sure it will return, when the time is right.

I love you all so much.
Jennifer

 

 

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