Today I celebrated 33 months free.
I am pleased to say ALL the mental symptoms associated with withdrawal are gone. Vanished. It took a long time, and I was hit very hard with them. But they are a thing of the past. Whew!
I still battle body symptoms. I got hit with a very bad wave last week. I was in bed quite a bit. I was in too much bone pain to be up and about. Too dizzy, weak, head pressure, and tingling too. I have struggled with intense tingling ever since my taper, which started October 2010. My hunch is it will be one of the last symptoms to go.
Even though the wave rolled in, I am happy. I am writing a new book and working on my career. I pray every day for guidance. I trust that God will put me where I can best use the talents he gave me.
I no longer look back over my shoulder. I don’t look too far ahead. I’ve learned how to stay in this moment. Everything is perfect in this present moment. I wasn’t able to feel that peace and serenity in the midst of withdrawal, however. I was so terribly frightened. Anxious.Terror. Blackness. You know what I am talking about. It was unbearable. But all that is gone. I have my mind back. I feel peace. I feel love. I feel joy. I feel deep compassion for others. I also feel a sense of duty to myself I didn’t have before withdrawal. I love and care for myself now in ways I never could have before. It’s quite lovely.
Yes, life is looking up these days. I am grateful for the many, many, blessings God has bestowed upon me. First and foremost, God gave me life. What an amazing gift. I got an invitation to this amazing world! I want the rest of my life to be lived as a prayer of thanks.
I’m free. I’m healing. I’m grateful. My garden is bursting with life. My heart is full of love.
Blessings to you all as you continue to put another 24 hours together benzo free and healing. Every day your brain is working hard to right itself from the damage from benzos.
Thank you to each and every one of you who has gone on this journey with me. Thank you for taking the time to read my words I put out to the universe through this blog. Your kind energy is felt and appreciated. I hope my words help you on your journey. I hold you all in my heart. I pray for you every night.