The more I heal, the more I can see just how impacted my thinking has been over the last few years. That and my motivation. Ok… my whole life!
A few months ago I began having hours where the looping benzo withdrawal thoughts and obsessions stopped and I had a clear mind. I would have told you then that I was “almost healed.” But looking back, I can see that I wasn’t as healed as I thought I was. NOW it is so much better. HOWEVER, I am sure that in a few months from now I will look back and see that this benchmark was not the ultimate in my healing either.
It took me many months to fill out the paperwork needed for the Foundation Group to apply for my 501C3 (non-profit status) application. Now that I have finished it, I realize that it should have taken me a few hours or days at the very most. There were weeks when I was unable to even open email from them. Too much for my brain. I am grateful I am able to do more now.
But….easy does it.
No rushing into any big decisions that may alter my life dramatically.
Be patient and hold on some more. (I have gotten good at doing that. I can do it some more.)
The finish line is up ahead. I see the bright ribbon waiting for me to burst through it, my head held high.
Crossing the finish line won’t mean that life will be easy or drama free. But it does mean I will have more resources to cope with the ups and downs, ins and outs.
It also means I won’t sweat the small stuff. Life is made up mostly of small stuff, btw.
After the holidays I intend to put my whole heart into birthing my non-profit that serves people who do not fit in or function well in society. We provide therapeutic gardening and deep listening to help people rewire their brains and to heal their hearts, minds, bodies and souls. I am grateful I can be of service to others now.
Easy does it. One day at a time. Keep it simple stupid. All good AA slogans I use to help me live my life. Mostly, I turn my will and my life over to God as I understand God. Works like a charm.
I hope you will take a moment and comment here and let us all know how you are doing.