The rescue dog last Friday turned out to be so traumatized that I only had her overnight. I found a good family who could take her in immediately, as my living situation was not going to be healthy for her. I loved having her though, as the sounds of her snuffled breathing during the night was comforting. It made me think about what I am truly yearning for, and that is companionship. So, instead of adopting a dog, I have decided to be brave enough to ask the universe for what I really want, a man in my life. I threw my hat into the dating pool on match. I am not 100% healed, but I am healed enough to at least put a toe in the dating waters.
The other thing my soul is longing for is to visit Aspen. It is “home” to me. I lived there for three years. Well, right next door to it, in a little town called Basalt. I owned a wonderful home on a nice chunk of land. No homes behind me, just open space. Basalt is so tiny that there is no light pollution so the stars look as if God spilled billions of them above. I used to sit in my hot tub at night and count shooting stars. I never went back inside until I saw at least three. Most nights I did. The Milky Way was right over head.
I am contemplating a road trip to visit soon. I must say I am a bit anxious about it. But I really want to visit this fall. I don’t know what it will be like to drive with my DR so heavy, but who knows? Maybe it will be ok. (This is one sx that just never seems like it wants to go away.) If I do summons the courage to go, I will be updating this post from the road, letting you know how it is going.
A friend of a friend has a home in Ennis Montana I could stay in if I decided to shoot up to Big Sky country. I may never want to come home if I go there, though!
Even with my bad mornings, I am getting better. Dating? Road trip? LIfe is coming together.
If you are still early off, hold on. Just be patient. Distract from the symptoms. Be around people. Just keep going. It get’s better.
Jen,
That is great! I’m married but, otherwise… 🙂
So glad you are going to Aspen. Being in a place you live will help you heal further.
Be well,
Andy
Good for you I am still healing also. Go to Aspen, I am going to my home in Florida in Nov and back again in Feb, I feel good enough to step out also even if I don’t I am going if it kills me. What’s the difference if I hurt here or down in Fl. I did too much yesterday and got a headache as big is the moon ! It gave up about 4:30 am. Well good to hear your going out I think sometimes people have been sick so long they are afraid to go do anything.**** ** I will not give in to this hell ! Good Luck everyone! Tom
Oops! “love” not “live”.
#iPad problems!
Hi Jen…. so good to hear you continue to heal. Big Sky Country…… YES…..don’t you dare come up here and not get in touch! Ennis is only about an hour from where I live and I would love to see you! I am now 10 weeks out and some days I feel like myself and the next is just a slap in the face….upside the head is more like it!!! 🙂 I also refuse to just sit on my behind and wait for this stuff to get better. Each day I push forward, even if it is just to walk across the yard, which on some days is all I can do! On those days I must walk out to check my chickens about 10 times a day! I’m sure they get sick of me checking up on them so often…. I.don’t even give the old girls privacy to get their job done! Chickens….. who knew they could be such a great distraction!!!!! Keep me posted if you come to Montana!!!
Just keep swimming everyone,
Carol
Hi, Jenn
It sounds like you’re doing better. So happy for you! Reading some comments, your
post about Aspen, etc. makes me alittle sad that I’m stuck in New Jersey. Oh well, when we heal from this, I guess it won’t matter where we are (totally) as long as we have”ourselves” back!! OMG! Can’t wait.
Sue
Carol if I get brave enough to head to the rockies of course I will give you a shout. Hope you start having more good days than bad. Hold on. It gets better.
Sue
I am worlds better than when I first stepped off. Oh my God. Going cold turkey after 18 years was insane… but I have so far lived to tell the tale.
I have some new sx that started this week. head pressure that feels like my skull is being filled with helium. A pressure pushing outwards from the inside. It is very uncomfortable. It makes me feel dizzy, not spinning dizzy, but just wobbly. I have pain/pressure in my right ear as well. The back of my head at times feels like someone has hit me with a baseball bat. That area will often feel as if it is freezing cold and fizzy.. like my brain is carbonated.
So… 26 months off and new stuff happening. I find it hard to believe that it can go on this long and that it can morph and change. Someone told me when I was 3 months out that I wouldn’t get new sx. Boy, were they wrong!
So.. still the walking wounded but what the hell…. I keep marching. Marching. Marching. This MF doesnt get to win.